What Are You Thankful for About Your Partner?

What Are You Thankful for About Your Partner? I love Thanksgiving, because it’s about family, friends, and food. It’s a good time to reflect on what we have to be thankful and grateful for. I am thankful for you, my readers. I hope what I write helps you a bit in your relationship. I am[…]

For Couples: All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

Couples would do well by each other by following these principles from Robert Fulghum’s book, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. 1. Share everything. Emotions, physically, intimacy, mentally, spiritually, thoughts, dreams, and things. 2. Play fair. Treat each other with justice and fairness. And play. But don’t play games with each[…]

Guessing “This is Never Gonna Go our Way . . .

Guessing “This is Never Gonna Go our Way . . . This is never gonna go our way if I am gonna have to guess what’s on your mind.” I Believe, Mumford & Sons. You can’t have your partner guessing what’s going on with you if you want a healthy relationship. Because I usually see[…]

Say Yes or No?

Say Yes or No? I often hear from clients that your partner doesn’t want to do things with you that they’re not interested in. You get to say yes or no. How does that work with the idea of being in each other’s care, and doing the best thing for the relationship? My husband is[…]

How are Exotic Animal Training and Learning in Marriage Related?

How are Exotic Animal Training and Learning in Marriage Related? I hear a lot of complaining about what a partner did or didn’t do. A lot of, “If you loved me, you would/wouldn’t,” and see many behaviors that lack appreciation and leave a partner feeling s/he will never be good enough. Reward and Praise (and[…]

Pornography

Pornography I realized that with all the topics I have written about, I have not written about pornography. In the realm of modeling behavior I believe in (in this case being explicit in communication), I will say that I have heard so many stories with poor endings that involve pornography. If you have an explicit[…]

Holding Hands — Why Not?

Holding Hands — Why Not? I went to see The St. John’s Choir of Cambridge (England) perform at Stanford Memorial Church. My husband and I sat in the balcony over the north transept, holding hands. This location provided a good spot for people watching in much of the church, as well as seeing most of[…]

Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling

Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling You have each made a commitment to one another and to your relationship; a partner bond that goes both ways. If that bond going both ways breaks down, and you are experiencing difficulty in your marriage, perhaps you will seek couples counseling. I see relationship counseling for[…]

One Type of Difficulty in Marriage

One Type of Difficulty in Marriage I read the following description of a troubled marriage in Barefoot to Avalon, by David Payne. The book is an intimate look into family systems, pain, joy, dysfunction under the surface (think iceberg), and ultimately about love. There are many ways a marriage can be troubled, and this is[…]