What’s Your Attachment Style and Why Does it Matter to Your Relationship?

Attachment Let’s start with explaining attachment, which is developed in early childhood, with your primary caregiver. Depending on the type of care you received (consistent, loving & dependable; unreliable in when it would be loving and supportive; or often ignored), this leads to one of three types of attachment: Secure (anchor), anxious (wave), and avoidant[…]

Wasband: How to Retain Your Marriage

Wasband: How to Retain Your Marriage This is my new word for the week. A husband who no longer is married to you is a wasband. Does waswife work as well? Do you want to retain your marriage? In order to avoid having a wasband or waswife, you do actually have to work on your[…]

Honesty, Humility and Morality: On the Same Page?

Honesty, Humility and Morality: On the Same Page? I recently read a very interesting article in Scientific American Mind called “How to Pick a Great Worker”. Previously, the honesty and humility [the moral] part of personality was not taken into account, and these traits are of course important in a business setting. I think this might[…]

Do You or Your Partner Struggle with Depression?

Note: If you are under a doctor’s care for depression, check with your doctor before making changes to your treatment program. I am not prescribing anything, nor suggesting what treatment would be best for you. When one partner struggles with depression, it can take a toll on both partners, and on the relationship itself. There[…]

808 Topics for Couples to Talk About

808 Topics for Couples to Talk About  A normal piece of homework I give couples is to have date night EVERY week, and they may not talk about kids or work. That’s where 808 Topics for Couples to Talk About comes in. The instructions are to take turns planning the date, and plan it as[…]

What Are You Thankful for About Your Partner?

What Are You Thankful for About Your Partner? I love Thanksgiving, because it’s about family, friends, and food. It’s a good time to reflect on what we have to be thankful and grateful for. I am thankful for you, my readers. I hope what I write helps you a bit in your relationship. I am[…]

For Couples: All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

Couples would do well by each other by following these principles from Robert Fulghum’s book, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. 1. Share everything. Emotions, physically, intimacy, mentally, spiritually, thoughts, dreams, and things. 2. Play fair. Treat each other with justice and fairness. And play. But don’t play games with each[…]

Guessing “This is Never Gonna Go our Way . . .

Guessing “This is Never Gonna Go our Way . . . This is never gonna go our way if I am gonna have to guess what’s on your mind.” I Believe, Mumford & Sons. You can’t have your partner guessing what’s going on with you if you want a healthy relationship. Because I usually see[…]

Say Yes or No?

Say Yes or No? I often hear from clients that your partner doesn’t want to do things with you that they’re not interested in. You get to say yes or no. How does that work with the idea of being in each other’s care, and doing the best thing for the relationship? My husband is[…]