What’s Your Attachment Style and Why Does it Matter to Your Relationship?

Attachment Let’s start with explaining attachment, which is developed in early childhood, with your primary caregiver. Depending on the type of care you received (consistent, loving & dependable; unreliable in when it would be loving and supportive; or often ignored), this leads to one of three types of attachment: Secure (anchor), anxious (wave), and avoidant[…]

Honesty, Humility and Morality: On the Same Page?

Honesty, Humility and Morality: On the Same Page? I recently read a very interesting article in Scientific American Mind called “How to Pick a Great Worker”. Previously, the honesty and humility [the moral] part of personality was not taken into account, and these traits are of course important in a business setting. I think this might[…]

808 Topics for Couples to Talk About

808 Topics for Couples to Talk About  A normal piece of homework I give couples is to have date night EVERY week, and they may not talk about kids or work. That’s where 808 Topics for Couples to Talk About comes in. The instructions are to take turns planning the date, and plan it as[…]

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” — What Will You Do About It?

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” When thinking about the concept of “we are spiritually unemployed”, I’m talking about the definition from the Oxford Dictionary: “of, relating to, or affecting the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.” Another definition of spirit is related to religion, and I’m not talking about that in[…]

Marriage Interview 14: They Almost Didn’t Meet

Marriage Interview 14: They Almost Didn’t Meet November 22, 1963. President John F. Kennedy was shot and killed. The nation was in shock. People were crying. Neither Robert nor Deborah knew this date would lead to their marriage. Set up by friends of theirs, Robert and Deborah were to go on a double blind date[…]

One Type of Difficulty in Marriage

One Type of Difficulty in Marriage I read the following description of a troubled marriage in Barefoot to Avalon, by David Payne. The book is an intimate look into family systems, pain, joy, dysfunction under the surface (think iceberg), and ultimately about love. There are many ways a marriage can be troubled, and this is[…]

I Had No Idea How to Deal with Anger and Conflict

I Had No Idea How to Deal with Anger and Conflict Recently I was looking at one of my journals from the early 80s when I was 20 or 21 years old. I came across an entry about an interaction with my guy of that time. It reminded that I had no idea how to[…]

Sleep Differentials Between Spouses

Sleep Differentials Between Spouses A recent New York Times article: The Lark-Owl Scale: When Couples’ Sleep Patterns Diverge, talks about each person’s innate sleep pattern, called a “sleep chronotype, an internal timing profile” and that trying to alter it to spend more time with your partner may cause difficulties in daily living. The article goes[…]