Signs and Symptoms of Parallel Living

Signs and Symptoms of Parallel Living As I wrote recently in my best tip for marriage – which is to take care of it, I’ve been thinking of the signs and symptoms of parallel living that I see and hear about. Parallel living overall is the opposite of living as an intimate married couple. If[…]

Sleep Differentials Between Spouses

Sleep Differentials Between Spouses A recent New York Times article: The Lark-Owl Scale: When Couples’ Sleep Patterns Diverge, talks about each person’s innate sleep pattern, called a “sleep chronotype, an internal timing profile” and that trying to alter it to spend more time with your partner may cause difficulties in daily living. The article goes[…]

Choose Your Beloved Daily

Choose Your Beloved Daily A colleague sent me an article about a man who chose his partner less and less each day for five years. They were both miserable in their “immature love.” As I’ve written in many of my columns, you need to choose your partner every day. And when you find yourself choosing[…]

Marriage Interview 9: Make a Date to Have Sex

. . . And Deeply Understand Yourself and Your Partner Make a Date to Have Sex Jessica and Steve just celebrated their 25th anniversary. Steve is 72 and Jessica is 68. They met in 1989 at Hobee’s in Town and Country (incidentally where we met for coffee at Peet’s,) after finding one another through ads[…]

Her Latest Lesbian Lover is the Wife of one our Mutual Male Friends

Her Latest Lesbian Lover is the Wife of one our Mutual Male Friends Jerry posted what you will read below as a comment on a previous column, and a discussion ensued there. Because there are so many layers to it, and many are common to affairs, I wanted to write about it as a separate column.[…]

She Doesn’t Want Sex; He Doesn’t Want to Talk, Part II

She Doesn’t Want Sex; He Doesn’t Want to Talk, Part IISilence I purposely left silence last week because that is what can happen when not talking and not having sex go on for a while. That silence gets filled with logistics, focus on kids and extended family, schedules, vacation planning, time with other couples, and[…]

He Doesn’t Want to Talk. She Doesn’t Want to Have Sex.

He Doesn’t Want to Talk. She Doesn’t Want to Have Sex. . . .       Palo Alto, Menlo Park, Woodside, Portola Valley, Los Altos, Sunnyvale, Mountain View, Belmont, San Mateo, San Carlos, San Jose, Santa Clara, Campbell San Ramon, Danville, Pleasanton, Alamo, Livermore, Castro Valley, Sunol, Dublin , Walnut Creek, Pleasant Hill, Orinda, Hayward, Oakland,[…]

Stuff It or Talk About It?

Stuff It or Talk About It?   I finished reading Hurricane Sisters, and the husband came home begging for forgiveness. The couple spent the whole night talking, and then agreed never to talk about his affair again, and she would take him back. Hollywood vs. Regular Lives This is the work of novels and Hollywood.[…]