Weekly Candlelight Reconnection Ritual

Weekly Candlelight Reconnection Ritual Here’s a simple and important weekly candlelight reconnection ritual that a dear friend shared with me to be done every Friday with your beloved. I know many of you have extremely busy lives and the week gets away from you. Many couples end up exhausted and feeling disconnected by Friday. The[…]

Repeating Myself for Your Marriage

Repeating Myself for Your Marriage I’m repeating myself for your marriage. This is so important, that I am going to repeat myself: If your relationship is in trouble, do something about it NOW! The research shows that many couples let things go for six years before coming to counseling. Many couples go much longer, caught[…]

Goals and Expectations in a Couples Relationship

Goals and Expectations in a Couples Relationship Do you plan goals and set expectations at work? Of course you do. However, many people forget to set goals and expectations in a couples relationship. They do not go through this process with their relationship, and later wonder, “How did I get here?” What Do You Each[…]

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” — What Will You Do About It?

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” When thinking about the concept of “we are spiritually unemployed”, I’m talking about the definition from the Oxford Dictionary: “of, relating to, or affecting the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.” Another definition of spirit is related to religion, and I’m not talking about that in[…]

Say Yes or No?

Say Yes or No? I often hear from clients that your partner doesn’t want to do things with you that they’re not interested in. You get to say yes or no. How does that work with the idea of being in each other’s care, and doing the best thing for the relationship? My husband is[…]

How are Exotic Animal Training and Learning in Marriage Related?

How are Exotic Animal Training and Learning in Marriage Related? I hear a lot of complaining about what a partner did or didn’t do. A lot of, “If you loved me, you would/wouldn’t,” and see many behaviors that lack appreciation and leave a partner feeling s/he will never be good enough. Reward and Praise (and[…]

Holding Hands — Why Not?

Holding Hands — Why Not? I went to see The St. John’s Choir of Cambridge (England) perform at Stanford Memorial Church. My husband and I sat in the balcony over the north transept, holding hands. This location provided a good spot for people watching in much of the church, as well as seeing most of[…]

Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling

Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling You have each made a commitment to one another and to your relationship; a partner bond that goes both ways. If that bond going both ways breaks down, and you are experiencing difficulty in your marriage, perhaps you will seek couples counseling. I see relationship counseling for[…]

Sleep Differentials Between Spouses

Sleep Differentials Between Spouses A recent New York Times article: The Lark-Owl Scale: When Couples’ Sleep Patterns Diverge, talks about each person’s innate sleep pattern, called a “sleep chronotype, an internal timing profile” and that trying to alter it to spend more time with your partner may cause difficulties in daily living. The article goes[…]