Heart Pounding, Hands Cold and Sweating

Heart Pounding, Hands Cold and Sweating I had an experience as part of training that got me to this place: heart pounding, hands cold and sweating. As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I have to take continuing education every licensure period. Despite the fact that I had five years of couple training post graduate[…]

Repeating Myself for Your Marriage

Repeating Myself for Your Marriage I’m repeating myself for your marriage. This is so important, that I am going to repeat myself: If your relationship is in trouble, do something about it NOW! The research shows that many couples let things go for six years before coming to counseling. Many couples go much longer, caught[…]

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” — What Will You Do About It?

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” When thinking about the concept of “we are spiritually unemployed”, I’m talking about the definition from the Oxford Dictionary: “of, relating to, or affecting the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.” Another definition of spirit is related to religion, and I’m not talking about that in[…]

How are Exotic Animal Training and Learning in Marriage Related?

How are Exotic Animal Training and Learning in Marriage Related? I hear a lot of complaining about what a partner did or didn’t do. A lot of, “If you loved me, you would/wouldn’t,” and see many behaviors that lack appreciation and leave a partner feeling s/he will never be good enough. Reward and Praise (and[…]

Pornography

Pornography I realized that with all the topics I have written about, I have not written about pornography. In the realm of modeling behavior I believe in (in this case being explicit in communication), I will say that I have heard so many stories with poor endings that involve pornography. If you have an explicit[…]

One Type of Difficulty in Marriage

One Type of Difficulty in Marriage I read the following description of a troubled marriage in Barefoot to Avalon, by David Payne. The book is an intimate look into family systems, pain, joy, dysfunction under the surface (think iceberg), and ultimately about love. There are many ways a marriage can be troubled, and this is[…]

I Had No Idea How to Deal with Anger and Conflict

I Had No Idea How to Deal with Anger and Conflict Recently I was looking at one of my journals from the early 80s when I was 20 or 21 years old. I came across an entry about an interaction with my guy of that time. It reminded that I had no idea how to[…]

My Best Tip for Your Marriage

My Best Tip for Your Marriage My best tip for your marriage is: Take care of your relationship. I realize that sounds simplistic, but it’s not. Love is created by many small acts, and grows. Deal with it While it’s Small Many of the couples we see at Connect2 Marriage Counseling didn’t address issues or[…]

Choose Your Beloved Daily

Choose Your Beloved Daily A colleague sent me an article about a man who chose his partner less and less each day for five years. They were both miserable in their “immature love.” As I’ve written in many of my columns, you need to choose your partner every day. And when you find yourself choosing[…]