Wasband: How to Retain Your Marriage

This is my new word for the week. A husband who no longer is married to you is a wasband. Does waswife work as well? What’s happening with your marriage? In order to avoid having a wasband or waswife, you do actually have to work on your marriage, spend time together and negotiate issues. A[…]

“Housewife” a Journey of Transgender Marriage

Kristin Collier’s book, Housewife: Home Remaking in a Transgender Marriage is a must read for any couple going through this transition. When Kristin’s husband, Fred, announced just after their second child was born in 2005, after ten years of a good, close, communicative marriage, that he is a woman, Kristin’s life was turned upside down. As[…]

Couples: Family Planning: Don’t F%@K Up

Couples: Family Planning: Don’t F%@K Up Couples: family planning: don’t F%@K Up! I believe that family planning needs to be an open and ongoing topic for couples — even if you just started dating. People’s wants and needs change, so be sure you talk about it periodically and explicitly.  Why is it so Important to Discuss[…]

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” — What Will You Do About It?

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” When thinking about the concept of “we are spiritually unemployed”, I’m talking about the definition from the Oxford Dictionary: “of, relating to, or affecting the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.” Another definition of spirit is related to religion, and I’m not talking about that in[…]

How are Exotic Animal Training and Learning in Marriage Related?

How are Exotic Animal Training and Learning in Marriage Related? I hear a lot of complaining about what a partner did or didn’t do. A lot of, “If you loved me, you would/wouldn’t,” and see many behaviors that lack appreciation and leave a partner feeling s/he will never be good enough. Reward and Praise (and[…]

Pornography

Pornography I realized that with all the topics I have written about, I have not written about pornography. In the realm of modeling behavior I believe in (in this case being explicit in communication), I will say that I have heard so many stories with poor endings that involve pornography. If you have an explicit[…]

Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling

Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling You have each made a commitment to one another and to your relationship; a partner bond that goes both ways. If that bond going both ways breaks down, and you are experiencing difficulty in your marriage, perhaps you will seek couples counseling. I see relationship counseling for[…]

One Type of Difficulty in Marriage

One Type of Difficulty in Marriage I read the following description of a troubled marriage in Barefoot to Avalon, by David Payne. The book is an intimate look into family systems, pain, joy, dysfunction under the surface (think iceberg), and ultimately about love. There are many ways a marriage can be troubled, and this is[…]

I Had No Idea How to Deal with Anger and Conflict

I Had No Idea How to Deal with Anger and Conflict Recently I was looking at one of my journals from the early 80s when I was 20 or 21 years old. I came across an entry about an interaction with my guy of that time. It reminded that I had no idea how to[…]