Couple’s Donut and a Letter to Law Enforcement Couples

Couple’s Donut and a Letter to Law Enforcement Couples What is a couple’s donut? This week I have a guest column to share with you written by Dr. Ellen Kirschman, a 30-year police psychologist and author of several books for law enforcement officers and their families, and now psychological mysteries (which are very good, BTW).[…]

Heart Pounding, Hands Cold and Sweating

Heart Pounding, Hands Cold and Sweating I had an experience as part of training that got me to this place: heart pounding, hands cold and sweating. As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I have to take continuing education every licensure period. Despite the fact that I had five years of couple training post graduate[…]

Repeating Myself for Your Marriage

Repeating Myself for Your Marriage I’m repeating myself for your marriage. This is so important, that I am going to repeat myself: If your relationship is in trouble, do something about it NOW! The research shows that many couples let things go for six years before coming to counseling. Many couples go much longer, caught[…]

Goals and Expectations in a Couples Relationship

Goals and Expectations in a Couples Relationship Do you plan goals and set expectations at work? Of course you do. However, many people forget to set goals and expectations in a couples relationship. They do not go through this process with their relationship, and later wonder, “How did I get here?” What Do You Each[…]

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” — What Will You Do About It?

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” When thinking about the concept of “we are spiritually unemployed”, I’m talking about the definition from the Oxford Dictionary: “of, relating to, or affecting the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.” Another definition of spirit is related to religion, and I’m not talking about that in[…]

How are Exotic Animal Training and Learning in Marriage Related?

How are Exotic Animal Training and Learning in Marriage Related? I hear a lot of complaining about what a partner did or didn’t do. A lot of, “If you loved me, you would/wouldn’t,” and see many behaviors that lack appreciation and leave a partner feeling s/he will never be good enough. Reward and Praise (and[…]

Relationship Baggage or “Emo Crap”

Relationship Baggage or “Emo Crap” Whether or not you believe in the “California woo-woo thing,” as Elaine Taylor wrote in her story, A Karmic Pact Fulfilled: I Got the Love I Gave (posted on The Dallas Morning News), she describes so well why we need to work through our childhood issues in order to have[…]

I Had No Idea How to Deal with Anger and Conflict

I Had No Idea How to Deal with Anger and Conflict Recently I was looking at one of my journals from the early 80s when I was 20 or 21 years old. I came across an entry about an interaction with my guy of that time. It reminded that I had no idea how to[…]

Signs and Symptoms of Parallel Living

Signs and Symptoms of Parallel Living As I wrote recently in my best tip for marriage – which is to take care of it, I’ve been thinking of the signs and symptoms of parallel living that I see and hear about. Parallel living overall is the opposite of living as an intimate married couple. If[…]