Marriage Interview 15: I Blamed it on Him

Marriage Interview 15: I Blamed it on Him Patti and Jeff met in 1979. Patti and her sister had placed a want ad for a roommate, and Jeff applied. They had a great, long talk, and decided he wasn’t a fit for a roommate. Patti had just come back from Europe. She and Jeff hung[…]

My Son Turned 20 – He Worries About Our World

My Son Turned 20 My son turned 20. I’m so proud of him. He’s thoughtful and kind, and has a great group of longtime friends that he listens to and supports. He treats his girlfriend and her family well. He’s in college and going to culinary school. As a parent, these are all reasons to[…]

Infertility and Miscarriage Couples Counseling

Infertility and Miscarriage Some couples have a tremendously hard time having children. And after many tries and losses, certain couples can benefit from infertility and miscarriage couples counseling. It seems that some women can get pregnant so easily (maybe even when they didn’t want to be), and sail through the months, and have a nice,[…]

Cancer Getaway for Kids and Teens

Cancer Getaway for Kids and Teens For those of you who have been following my blog for a while, you know I love doing grief counseling. I was the caregiver for my husband who had (and survived) cancer, my MIL died in January 2014 of cancer and many of you followed along that journey with me.[…]

Premarital Conversations

Premarital Conversations You’re in love, wearing rose-colored glasses, ready to marry, busy with wedding planning. It’s an exciting time. Relish being engaged, it’s a special phase that you won’t have again. I’ve noticed from my work with premarital couples that there may be topics that you haven’t discussed yet, and it’s a good idea to[…]

Step-Family

Step-Family My four step-sons were here just after Thanksgiving. They are 27, 25, 14 and 11. This was the best time we’ve had together, despite the fact that their grandmother is dying. We went to see them in their natural habitat (Washington State) for a week, and then they came here to be with the[…]

Trying New Behaviors: Fear and Excitement

Trying new behaviors: Fear and excitement are on the same spectrum. Consider, in an evolutionary context, of hunters making the approach: fear and excitement. Think of current times, for example, preparing for a big presentation that may help you in your career, or trying to figure out what to say to your spouse about an[…]

Marriage Underachievers

Marriage Underachievers I know no one wants to be a marriage underachiever. Would we have low standards for ourselves about our marriage? Whose standards are we using?  Have we discussed what we want, what we need, as a couple? What our roles will be as husband and wife (and our view of the other as[…]

Kids and Marital Satisfaction

Kids and marital satisfaction have been studied a lot. Research “More than a hundred studies show that marital satisfaction falls off a cliff after the birth of the first child and doesn’t get much better until the last child leaves for college,”  writes John Gartner, Ph.D in ‘Child.ol’.a.try’ in Psychology Today. Yikes! How Come Kids[…]