Santa Says . . . Only Two in Marriage

Santa Says . . . Only Two in Marriage I met Santa today (or at least he looks like Santa), and I asked him what make a marriage last. There were two things Santa told me that he believes are the key ingredients.I met Santa today (or at least he looks like Santa), and I[…]

Are Tiger Moms Raising Tiger Spouses?

Are Tiger Moms Raising Tiger Spouses? What is a Tiger Mom? Author Amy Chua is the author of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother (Note: I have not read her book). According to an article in Time magazine, “Chua’s reports from the trenches of authoritarian parenthood are indeed disconcerting, even shocking, in their candid admission of maternal ruthlessness.[…]

Marriage Interview 15: I Blamed it on Him

Marriage Interview 15: I Blamed it on Him Patti and Jeff met in 1979. Patti and her sister had placed a want ad for a roommate, and Jeff applied. They had a great, long talk, and decided he wasn’t a fit for a roommate. Patti had just come back from Europe. She and Jeff hung[…]

Work: What Happens when your Relationship is in Trouble?

Work: What Happens when your Relationship is in Trouble? If your marriage is suffering – if you feel unloved, unheard, misunderstood, lack intimacy and/or sex, are considering leaving your marriage, are having an affair or wonder if your partner is, are worrying about a divorce, your kids, and so on – then what happens at[…]

Heart Pounding, Hands Cold and Sweating

Heart Pounding, Hands Cold and Sweating I had an experience as part of training that got me to this place: heart pounding, hands cold and sweating. As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I have to take continuing education every licensure period. Despite the fact that I had five years of couple training post graduate[…]

Repeating Myself for Your Marriage

Repeating Myself for Your Marriage I’m repeating myself for your marriage. This is so important, that I am going to repeat myself: If your relationship is in trouble, do something about it NOW! The research shows that many couples let things go for six years before coming to counseling. Many couples go much longer, caught[…]

Goals and Expectations in a Couples Relationship

Goals and Expectations in a Couples Relationship Do you plan goals and set expectations at work? Of course you do. However, many people forget to set goals and expectations in a couples relationship. They do not go through this process with their relationship, and later wonder, “How did I get here?” What Do You Each[…]

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” — What Will You Do About It?

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” When thinking about the concept of “we are spiritually unemployed”, I’m talking about the definition from the Oxford Dictionary: “of, relating to, or affecting the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.” Another definition of spirit is related to religion, and I’m not talking about that in[…]

Guessing “This is Never Gonna Go our Way . . .

Guessing “This is Never Gonna Go our Way . . . This is never gonna go our way if I am gonna have to guess what’s on your mind.” I Believe, Mumford & Sons. You can’t have your partner guessing what’s going on with you if you want a healthy relationship. Because I usually see[…]

Say Yes or No?

Say Yes or No? I often hear from clients that your partner doesn’t want to do things with you that they’re not interested in. You get to say yes or no. How does that work with the idea of being in each other’s care, and doing the best thing for the relationship? My husband is[…]