Choose Your Beloved Daily

Choose Your Beloved Daily A colleague sent me an article about a man who chose his partner less and less each day for five years. They were both miserable in their “immature love.” As I’ve written in many of my columns, you need to choose your partner every day. And when you find yourself choosing[…]

Give Way or Have it Your Way?

Give Way or Have it Your Way? What does Give Way mean in a relationship context? Active vs. Passive Yielding I’m thinking this morning of active yielding vs. passive yielding. Passive giving way may be a path of not dealing with an issue. Active giving way can be a healthy choice for a marriage. Some[…]

7 Do’s and Don’ts For Staying Connected as a Couple During Grief

7 Do’s and Don’ts For Staying Connected as a Couple During Grief My heart goes out to the families and friends of the young people who have died in our community lately. It is shocking and saddening beyond words. Give Comfort; Don’t Fix I specialize in working with couples that have lost a child. This[…]

Marriage Interview 1: Keep a Sense of Humor

Marriage Interview 1: Keep a Sense of Humor I am working on a series of marriage interviews to share with you. They are anonymous so that these generous people will share a bit of their personal lives with us. If you’d like to be interviewed, email me (canderson@connect2.us.com), and I’ll be in touch. Here’s the[…]

Trying New Behaviors: Fear and Excitement

Trying new behaviors: Fear and excitement are on the same spectrum. Consider, in an evolutionary context, of hunters making the approach: fear and excitement. Think of current times, for example, preparing for a big presentation that may help you in your career, or trying to figure out what to say to your spouse about an[…]

Giants Won! Couples Can, Too

Giants Won! Just think: The Giants were the NL wild card team. They had one chance to advance in the playoffs.  And the Giants won! They worked hard, they practiced, they used all of their skills, tools, coaching, and heart. I hope they had fun. It sure looked that way at times. Couples Can Win,[…]

Flirtation

“To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.” – E.W. Howe As Mira Kirshenbaum writes in her book, “When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships,” we need to keep the windows and doors of our relationship shut in order to avoid[…]

Marriage Underachievers

Marriage Underachievers I know no one wants to be a marriage underachiever. Would we have low standards for ourselves about our marriage? Whose standards are we using?  Have we discussed what we want, what we need, as a couple? What our roles will be as husband and wife (and our view of the other as[…]