Heart Pounding, Hands Cold and Sweating

Heart Pounding, Hands Cold and Sweating I had an experience as part of training that got me to this place: heart pounding, hands cold and sweating. As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I have to take continuing education every licensure period. Despite the fact that I had five years of couple training post graduate[…]

Choose Your Beloved Daily

Choose Your Beloved Daily A colleague sent me an article about a man who chose his partner less and less each day for five years. They were both miserable in their “immature love.” As I’ve written in many of my columns, you need to choose your partner every day. And when you find yourself choosing[…]

Give Way or Have it Your Way?

Give Way or Have it Your Way? What does Give Way mean in a relationship context? Active vs. Passive Yielding I’m thinking this morning of active yielding vs. passive yielding. Passive giving way may be a path of not dealing with an issue. Active giving way can be a healthy choice for a marriage. Some[…]

“It’s Not About the Nail”

“It’s Not About the Nail” I’ve talked here a lot about women not wanting men to fix them, their situation, or to give advice. Many men I’ve talked to who have a happy marriage said it took them a long time to learn this. For your enjoyment and thoughts, check out this less-than-two-minute video, It’s[…]

7 Do’s and Don’ts For Staying Connected as a Couple During Grief

7 Do’s and Don’ts For Staying Connected as a Couple During Grief My heart goes out to the families and friends of the young people who have died in our community lately. It is shocking and saddening beyond words. Give Comfort; Don’t Fix I specialize in working with couples that have lost a child. This[…]

Marriage Interview 1: Keep a Sense of Humor

Marriage Interview 1: Keep a Sense of Humor I am working on a series of marriage interviews to share with you. They are anonymous so that these generous people will share a bit of their personal lives with us. If you’d like to be interviewed, email me (canderson@connect2.us.com), and I’ll be in touch. Here’s the[…]

Trying New Behaviors: Fear and Excitement

Trying new behaviors: Fear and excitement are on the same spectrum. Consider, in an evolutionary context, of hunters making the approach: fear and excitement. Think of current times, for example, preparing for a big presentation that may help you in your career, or trying to figure out what to say to your spouse about an[…]

Giants Won! Couples Can, Too

Giants Won! Just think: The Giants were the NL wild card team. They had one chance to advance in the playoffs.  And the Giants won! They worked hard, they practiced, they used all of their skills, tools, coaching, and heart. I hope they had fun. It sure looked that way at times. Couples Can Win,[…]