Couple’s Donut and a Letter to Law Enforcement Couples

Couple’s Donut and a Letter to Law Enforcement Couples What is a couple’s donut? This week I have a guest column to share with you written by Dr. Ellen Kirschman, a 30-year police psychologist and author of several books for law enforcement officers and their families, and now psychological mysteries (which are very good, BTW).[…]

My Son Turned 20 – He Worries About Our World

My Son Turned 20 My son turned 20. I’m so proud of him. He’s thoughtful and kind, and has a great group of longtime friends that he listens to and supports. He treats his girlfriend and her family well. He’s in college and going to culinary school. As a parent, these are all reasons to[…]

Say Yes or No?

Say Yes or No? I often hear from clients that your partner doesn’t want to do things with you that they’re not interested in. You get to say yes or no. How does that work with the idea of being in each other’s care, and doing the best thing for the relationship? My husband is[…]

Marriage Interview 14: They Almost Didn’t Meet

Marriage Interview 14: They Almost Didn’t Meet November 22, 1963. President John F. Kennedy was shot and killed. The nation was in shock. People were crying. Neither Robert nor Deborah knew this date would lead to their marriage. Set up by friends of theirs, Robert and Deborah were to go on a double blind date[…]

Cancer Getaway for Kids and Teens

Cancer Getaway for Kids and Teens For those of you who have been following my blog for a while, you know I love doing grief counseling. I was the caregiver for my husband who had (and survived) cancer, my MIL died in January 2014 of cancer and many of you followed along that journey with me.[…]

“5 Sex Languages” and Three Categories of Sex

“5 Sex Languages” and Three Categories of Sex There’s a new book called 5 Sex Languages by Dr. Douglas Weiss that I think will be helpful to couples. The five sex languages are: Fun; Desire; Pleasure; Patience; and Acceptance/Celebration. After describing these sex languages, Dr. Weiss continues with addressing roadblocks; asking for sex; taking responsibility;[…]

Pornography

Pornography I realized that with all the topics I have written about, I have not written about pornography. In the realm of modeling behavior I believe in (in this case being explicit in communication), I will say that I have heard so many stories with poor endings that involve pornography. If you have an explicit[…]

Sex in the South and East Asian/Arab Communities

Sex in the South and East Asian and Arab Communities I am not claiming to be an expert on sex in the South and East Asian and Arab communities. Yet with the mix of nationalities of people in the Bay Area and Silicon Valley, it means that there are many South and East Asian and[…]

Relationship Baggage or “Emo Crap”

Relationship Baggage or “Emo Crap” Whether or not you believe in the “California woo-woo thing,” as Elaine Taylor wrote in her story, A Karmic Pact Fulfilled: I Got the Love I Gave (posted on The Dallas Morning News), she describes so well why we need to work through our childhood issues in order to have[…]

Sleep Differentials Between Spouses

Sleep Differentials Between Spouses A recent New York Times article: The Lark-Owl Scale: When Couples’ Sleep Patterns Diverge, talks about each person’s innate sleep pattern, called a “sleep chronotype, an internal timing profile” and that trying to alter it to spend more time with your partner may cause difficulties in daily living. The article goes[…]