What’s Your Attachment Style and Why Does it Matter to Your Relationship?

Attachment Let’s start with explaining attachment, which is developed in early childhood, with your primary caregiver. Depending on the type of care you received (consistent, loving & dependable; unreliable in when it would be loving and supportive; or often ignored), this leads to one of three types of attachment: Secure (anchor), anxious (wave), and avoidant[…]

Wasband: How to Retain Your Marriage

This is my new word for the week. A husband who no longer is married to you is a wasband. Does waswife work as well? What’s happening with your marriage? In order to avoid having a wasband or waswife, you do actually have to work on your marriage, spend time together and negotiate issues. A[…]

“Housewife” a Journey of Transgender Marriage

Kristin Collier’s book, Housewife: Home Remaking in a Transgender Marriage is a must read for any couple going through this transition. When Kristin’s husband, Fred, announced just after their second child was born in 2005, after ten years of a good, close, communicative marriage, that he is a woman, Kristin’s life was turned upside down. As[…]

Infertility and Miscarriage Couples Counseling

Infertility and Miscarriage Some couples have a tremendously hard time having children. And after many tries and losses, certain couples can benefit from infertility and miscarriage couples counseling. It seems that some women can get pregnant so easily (maybe even when they didn’t want to be), and sail through the months, and have a nice,[…]

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” — What Will You Do About It?

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” When thinking about the concept of “we are spiritually unemployed”, I’m talking about the definition from the Oxford Dictionary: “of, relating to, or affecting the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.” Another definition of spirit is related to religion, and I’m not talking about that in[…]

Guessing “This is Never Gonna Go our Way . . .

Guessing “This is Never Gonna Go our Way . . . This is never gonna go our way if I am gonna have to guess what’s on your mind.” I Believe, Mumford & Sons. You can’t have your partner guessing what’s going on with you if you want a healthy relationship. Because I usually see[…]

Say Yes or No?

Say Yes or No? I often hear from clients that your partner doesn’t want to do things with you that they’re not interested in. You get to say yes or no. How does that work with the idea of being in each other’s care, and doing the best thing for the relationship? My husband is[…]

How are Exotic Animal Training and Learning in Marriage Related?

How are Exotic Animal Training and Learning in Marriage Related? I hear a lot of complaining about what a partner did or didn’t do. A lot of, “If you loved me, you would/wouldn’t,” and see many behaviors that lack appreciation and leave a partner feeling s/he will never be good enough. Reward and Praise (and[…]

Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling

Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling You have each made a commitment to one another and to your relationship; a partner bond that goes both ways. If that bond going both ways breaks down, and you are experiencing difficulty in your marriage, perhaps you will seek couples counseling. I see relationship counseling for[…]

One Type of Difficulty in Marriage

One Type of Difficulty in Marriage I read the following description of a troubled marriage in Barefoot to Avalon, by David Payne. The book is an intimate look into family systems, pain, joy, dysfunction under the surface (think iceberg), and ultimately about love. There are many ways a marriage can be troubled, and this is[…]