Couple Time and Work Time

Couple Time and Work Time I hear couples say they are too busy to spend time together. They work too much. I see long, long work hours in every couple who comes in. And it takes a toll. Couples lose connection, communication, and soon after that, their sex life drops off. Seems people are worried[…]

Taking or Receiving in a Marriage or Relationship

I’ve been sick with a bad cold that has put me back to basics (sleep, eat). My husband is working FT (at a stressful job). My brother in-law is here this week, and my step-sons, too. Normally, I would be taking care of shopping and meals for all, plus doing my work (not quite FT).[…]

Wasband: How to Retain Your Marriage

This is my new word for the week. A husband who no longer is married to you is a wasband. Does waswife work as well? What’s happening with your marriage? In order to avoid having a wasband or waswife, you do actually have to work on your marriage, spend time together and negotiate issues. A[…]

Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling

Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling You have each made a commitment to one another and to your relationship; a partner bond that goes both ways. If that bond going both ways breaks down, and you are experiencing difficulty in your marriage, perhaps you will seek couples counseling. I see relationship counseling for[…]

One Type of Difficulty in Marriage

One Type of Difficulty in Marriage I read the following description of a troubled marriage in Barefoot to Avalon, by David Payne. The book is an intimate look into family systems, pain, joy, dysfunction under the surface (think iceberg), and ultimately about love. There are many ways a marriage can be troubled, and this is[…]

Choose Your Beloved Daily

Choose Your Beloved Daily A colleague sent me an article about a man who chose his partner less and less each day for five years. They were both miserable in their “immature love.” As I’ve written in many of my columns, you need to choose your partner every day. And when you find yourself choosing[…]

Performance Review Your Marriage?

Performance Review Your Marriage? A recent Wall Street Journal article, A Performance Review May be Good for Your Marriage, suggests doing periodic marriage performance reviews. I support this idea. Small Corrections Early are the Best At times a small correction sooner than later is akin to redirecting an ocean liner or freighter — getting a[…]

Have You Ever Had a Dog?

Have You Ever Had a Dog? This, readers, is unconditional love. Every time I get home, whether it’s only been 30 minutes or three hours, he literally leaps all around me. He wiggles, and bounces, and boings side-to-side. By then I am laughing and smiling. He runs around the yard leaping four to six feet[…]

Accept Life Unquestioningly

“Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, then to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and[…]