Five Do’s and Don’ts for Surviving Miscarriage

Five Do’s and Don’ts for Surviving Miscarriage Fit Pregnancy magazine recently asked for my expert opinion about finding ways that miscarriage can make you stronger. It’s an excellent article; I enjoyed writing for them to help women and couples. The main point I want to make here: Women: if you’re asking yourself whether you did[…]

Umpqua

Umpqua My daughter died in-utero 17 years ago in the midst of five miscarriages. I have done everything I can think of to keep my son safe (and not smother him in the process). I probably sat by his bed checking his breathing a little more than usual when he was little. And yet, truly,[…]

Seven Months Since Mom Died

Seven Months Since Mom Died I really miss mom. I find myself talking to her sometimes; telling her how much I love her. I’ve been planting a succulent garden and growing tomatoes. I know she would be glad as she always offered to help me with gardening. So I find myself enjoying it just a[…]

Marriage Interview 10: A Cross-Cultural Love Story

Marriage Interview 10: A Cross-Cultural Love Story Katja and Bob are celebrating their 44th anniversary in August. They fell in love in 1970 and got married in 1971. Serendipity Bob was a hot salesman sent over to Europe to determine where and how to expand his company’s business. He travelled without a pre-determined itinerary, and[…]

Marriage Interview 9: Make a Date to Have Sex

. . . And Deeply Understand Yourself and Your Partner Make a Date to Have Sex Jessica and Steve just celebrated their 25th anniversary. Steve is 72 and Jessica is 68. They met in 1989 at Hobee’s in Town and Country (incidentally where we met for coffee at Peet’s,) after finding one another through ads[…]

Give Way or Have it Your Way?

Give Way or Have it Your Way? What does Give Way mean in a relationship context? Active vs. Passive Yielding I’m thinking this morning of active yielding vs. passive yielding. Passive giving way may be a path of not dealing with an issue. Active giving way can be a healthy choice for a marriage. Some[…]

She Doesn’t Want Sex; He Doesn’t Want to Talk, Part II

She Doesn’t Want Sex; He Doesn’t Want to Talk, Part IISilence I purposely left silence last week because that is what can happen when not talking and not having sex go on for a while. That silence gets filled with logistics, focus on kids and extended family, schedules, vacation planning, time with other couples, and[…]

Gratitude, Repairing and Avoiding Affairs

Gratitude, Repairing and Avoiding Affairs I’m reading a novel called Hurricane Sisters, and the very successful husband has been caught having an affair, and is knocked back by the stupidity of his actions and wants to made amends and repair his marriage. Thanks He asks a longtime associate how he’s kept his long marriage: “It’s[…]

The Grass is Greener Where You Water It

The Grass is Greener Where You Water It I saw this quote at the Y, and thought it is so fitting for relationships. It is up to us to water the grass within our relationship.  Here are several suggestions: – Giving to our beloved in his or her Love Language (Quality Time, Touch, Acts of Service,[…]

Marriage Interview 6: Blind to Clutter

Marriage Interview 6: Blind to Clutter Mandy and Sam met in college in 1988 and began dating a year later. They waited 15 years before getting married, and now have been married for 13 years. Clutter One of their biggest problems is that Sam is “clutter-blind.” I know a lot of you have the same[…]