Couple’s Donut and a Letter to Law Enforcement Couples

Couple’s Donut and a Letter to Law Enforcement Couples What is a couple’s donut? This week I have a guest column to share with you written by Dr. Ellen Kirschman, a 30-year police psychologist and author of several books for law enforcement officers and their families, and now psychological mysteries (which are very good, BTW).[…]

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” — What Will You Do About It?

“We are Spiritually Unemployed” When thinking about the concept of “we are spiritually unemployed”, I’m talking about the definition from the Oxford Dictionary: “of, relating to, or affecting the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.” Another definition of spirit is related to religion, and I’m not talking about that in[…]

Marriage Interview 14: They Almost Didn’t Meet

Marriage Interview 14: They Almost Didn’t Meet November 22, 1963. President John F. Kennedy was shot and killed. The nation was in shock. People were crying. Neither Robert nor Deborah knew this date would lead to their marriage. Set up by friends of theirs, Robert and Deborah were to go on a double blind date[…]

Cancer Getaway for Kids and Teens

Cancer Getaway for Kids and Teens For those of you who have been following my blog for a while, you know I love doing grief counseling. I was the caregiver for my husband who had (and survived) cancer, my MIL died in January 2014 of cancer and many of you followed along that journey with me.[…]

How are Exotic Animal Training and Learning in Marriage Related?

How are Exotic Animal Training and Learning in Marriage Related? I hear a lot of complaining about what a partner did or didn’t do. A lot of, “If you loved me, you would/wouldn’t,” and see many behaviors that lack appreciation and leave a partner feeling s/he will never be good enough. Reward and Praise (and[…]

“5 Sex Languages” and Three Categories of Sex

“5 Sex Languages” and Three Categories of Sex There’s a new book called 5 Sex Languages by Dr. Douglas Weiss that I think will be helpful to couples. The five sex languages are: Fun; Desire; Pleasure; Patience; and Acceptance/Celebration. After describing these sex languages, Dr. Weiss continues with addressing roadblocks; asking for sex; taking responsibility;[…]

Pornography

Pornography I realized that with all the topics I have written about, I have not written about pornography. In the realm of modeling behavior I believe in (in this case being explicit in communication), I will say that I have heard so many stories with poor endings that involve pornography. If you have an explicit[…]

Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling

Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling You have each made a commitment to one another and to your relationship; a partner bond that goes both ways. If that bond going both ways breaks down, and you are experiencing difficulty in your marriage, perhaps you will seek couples counseling. I see relationship counseling for[…]

Sex in the South and East Asian/Arab Communities

Sex in the South and East Asian and Arab Communities I am not claiming to be an expert on sex in the South and East Asian and Arab communities. Yet with the mix of nationalities of people in the Bay Area and Silicon Valley, it means that there are many South and East Asian and[…]