One Type of Difficulty in Marriage

One Type of Difficulty in Marriage I read the following description of a troubled marriage in Barefoot to Avalon, by David Payne. The book is an intimate look into family systems, pain, joy, dysfunction under the surface (think iceberg), and ultimately about love. There are many ways a marriage can be troubled, and this is[…]

Sex in the South and East Asian/Arab Communities

Sex in the South and East Asian and Arab Communities I am not claiming to be an expert on sex in the South and East Asian and Arab communities. Yet with the mix of nationalities of people in the Bay Area and Silicon Valley, it means that there are many South and East Asian and[…]

Signs and Symptoms of Parallel Living

Signs and Symptoms of Parallel Living As I wrote recently in my best tip for marriage – which is to take care of it, I’ve been thinking of the signs and symptoms of parallel living that I see and hear about. Parallel living overall is the opposite of living as an intimate married couple. If[…]

Sleep Differentials Between Spouses

Sleep Differentials Between Spouses A recent New York Times article: The Lark-Owl Scale: When Couples’ Sleep Patterns Diverge, talks about each person’s innate sleep pattern, called a “sleep chronotype, an internal timing profile” and that trying to alter it to spend more time with your partner may cause difficulties in daily living. The article goes[…]

Five Years Post-Cancer

Five Years Post-Cancer As I approach the one-and a half year anniversary of my mother-in-law’s death from cancer, I also got great news about my husband. He is five years post-cancer and has a clean bill of health. He went yesterday for the last throat scope (no, you don’t want the details). He had tonsil[…]

My Best Tip for Your Marriage

My Best Tip for Your Marriage My best tip for your marriage is: Take care of your relationship. I realize that sounds simplistic, but it’s not. Love is created by many small acts, and grows. Deal with it While it’s Small Many of the couples we see at Connect2 Marriage Counseling didn’t address issues or[…]

Choose Your Beloved Daily

Choose Your Beloved Daily A colleague sent me an article about a man who chose his partner less and less each day for five years. They were both miserable in their “immature love.” As I’ve written in many of my columns, you need to choose your partner every day. And when you find yourself choosing[…]

Communal Sexual Strength and Motivation

Communal Sexual Strength and Motivation In the October issue of Psychology Today I finally found a name for something I’ve been talking to clients about for many years: it’s called communal motivation, or communal strength*. If it’s important to you, it’s important to me. No Score Keeping You give to each other willingly and you[…]

Joe, Joan, and Helen: Crossdressing

Joe, Joan, and Helen: Crossdressing “Joan is my feminine side,” Joe told me. Joe has been dressing in women’s clothes since he was a young boy. Joe and Helen have been married for 25 years. They met at a dance and dinner party, hit it off, and have been a couple ever since. Joe is[…]