Wasband: How to Retain Your Marriage

This is my new word for the week. A husband who no longer is married to you is a wasband. Does waswife work as well? What’s happening with your marriage? In order to avoid having a wasband or waswife, you do actually have to work on your marriage, spend time together and negotiate issues. A[…]

Sleep Differentials Between Spouses

Sleep Differentials Between Spouses A recent New York Times article: The Lark-Owl Scale: When Couples’ Sleep Patterns Diverge, talks about each person’s innate sleep pattern, called a “sleep chronotype, an internal timing profile” and that trying to alter it to spend more time with your partner may cause difficulties in daily living. The article goes[…]

How Does Psychotherapy Work? Very Simply.

How Does Psychotherapy Work? Very Simply. I was recently reading “Shrunken Heads” by Gregory Lester, Ph.D., and came across these descriptions of what psychotherapy is and how it works: “Psychotherapy. . . is a treatment activity that is designed to work on the mechanisms of the human psyche in such a way as to give[…]

She Doesn’t Want Sex; He Doesn’t Want to Talk, Part II

She Doesn’t Want Sex; He Doesn’t Want to Talk, Part IISilence I purposely left silence last week because that is what can happen when not talking and not having sex go on for a while. That silence gets filled with logistics, focus on kids and extended family, schedules, vacation planning, time with other couples, and[…]

Premarital Conversations

Premarital Conversations You’re in love, wearing rose-colored glasses, ready to marry, busy with wedding planning. It’s an exciting time. Relish being engaged, it’s a special phase that you won’t have again. I’ve noticed from my work with premarital couples that there may be topics that you haven’t discussed yet, and it’s a good idea to[…]

Step-Family

Step-Family My four step-sons were here just after Thanksgiving. They are 27, 25, 14 and 11. This was the best time we’ve had together, despite the fact that their grandmother is dying. We went to see them in their natural habitat (Washington State) for a week, and then they came here to be with the[…]