Couples: Do You Have Sex Only on Vacation?

Couples: Do You Have Sex Only on Vacation? Over the years of seeing couples in marriage counseling, and through reading I’ve done, there are many couples who only have sex on vacation. Sex on vacation is great! You’re more relaxed, you’re in a new environment (which stimulates dopamine – the chemical which helps control the[…]

Couple Time and Work Time

Couple Time and Work Time I hear couples say they are too busy to spend time together. They work too much. I see long, long work hours in every couple who comes in. And it takes a toll. Couples lose connection, communication, and soon after that, their sex life drops off. Seems people are worried[…]

Wasband: How to Retain Your Marriage

Wasband: How to Retain Your Marriage This is my new word for the week. A husband who no longer is married to you is a wasband. Does waswife work as well? Do you want to retain your marriage? In order to avoid having a wasband or waswife, you do actually have to work on your[…]

Say Yes or No?

Say Yes or No? I often hear from clients that your partner doesn’t want to do things with you that they’re not interested in. You get to say yes or no. How does that work with the idea of being in each other’s care, and doing the best thing for the relationship? My husband is[…]

Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling

Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling You have each made a commitment to one another and to your relationship; a partner bond that goes both ways. If that bond going both ways breaks down, and you are experiencing difficulty in your marriage, perhaps you will seek couples counseling. I see relationship counseling for[…]

One Type of Difficulty in Marriage

One Type of Difficulty in Marriage I read the following description of a troubled marriage in Barefoot to Avalon, by David Payne. The book is an intimate look into family systems, pain, joy, dysfunction under the surface (think iceberg), and ultimately about love. There are many ways a marriage can be troubled, and this is[…]

Signs and Symptoms of Parallel Living

Signs and Symptoms of Parallel Living As I wrote recently in my best tip for marriage – which is to take care of it, I’ve been thinking of the signs and symptoms of parallel living that I see and hear about. Parallel living overall is the opposite of living as an intimate married couple. If[…]

Sleep Differentials Between Spouses

Sleep Differentials Between Spouses A recent New York Times article: The Lark-Owl Scale: When Couples’ Sleep Patterns Diverge, talks about each person’s innate sleep pattern, called a “sleep chronotype, an internal timing profile” and that trying to alter it to spend more time with your partner may cause difficulties in daily living. The article goes[…]