Category: Couples Therapy
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Valentine’s Day: Pressure for Perfection
Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love and romance. It may be great pressure for gift buying and giving, and for doing things for your beloved. In the construct of The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, Valentine’s Day is good for those whose Love language is Gifts or Acts of Service. If your…
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Walter Mitty: Secret Life
Despite the mixed reviews, Walter Mitty gives us a view of self that is trying to win the woman, change his own life, and consider his self-image. Whether or not we jump off a helicopter or go to Iceland will not be the determining factor in gaining a romantic relationship. How we feel about ourselves…
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Miscarriage
I have been pregnant seven times. I wanted two children. I have a wonderful son who will be 18 this year. My last miscarriage was two weeks before I turned 40 (which was my cut-off date for trying because I was physically and emotionally worn out from the multiple pregnancies and miscarriages). It’s shocking how…
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The Year in Review
Now that our new year’s resolution are about a month old, let’s turn to our primary relationship. What one or two things will I do better than I did in 2103 that will make my marriage stronger and healthier and happier? Let’s make a list of ideas. I’ll start: • I will purposely remember falling…
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You’re Not Doing it Right!
Dear Chandrama, My husband does things that drive me crazy, and I want him to stop! For example, he reloads the dishwasher, tells me where to turn when I’m driving, criticizes the way I chop vegetables, and doesn’t want me to help put his tools away. Why does he treat me like I’m stupid and…
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Isn’t That Nice
I was at a concert recently, minding the box office, when a man rushed in saying he was bringing his wife her eyeglasses. I pointed him through the double doors. Soon he came out and left. A few minutes later, his wife came out complaining. “My husband is color-blind. I asked him to bring me…
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The Grace of Nelson Mandela: An Example for Couples
The more I read about Mandela, the more I am impressed by his grace and humility. He initiated healing – and connecting – conversations with many people and organizations that caused great harm to a nation, a people, and to him, personally. He sets a great example for how couples can treat each other: To…
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Grief and the Holidays
All the hubaloo around Christmas and New Year celebrations can be so painful or irrelevant when we’re grieving the death of a loved one, a loss of a relationship, a miscarriage or infertility, a job. It’s so hard to imagine that people are joyous, and that life is moving along — so quickly, while we…
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The Year in Review
What one or two things will I do better than I did in 2103 that will make my marriage stronger and healthier and happier? Let’s make a list of ideas. I’ll start: I will purposely remember falling in love, and nurture those feelings – now! I will put his needs equally with my own, and…
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The Changing American Family
How is your family configured? Are you still married to your first spouse? Do you have children from multiple marriages? Are you a blended family? Are you a single mom by choice? Are you a same gender family? Are you single by choice? Are you a couple without kids? Did you have trouble with fertility?…