Tag: love
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Premarital and Couples: Here Be Dragons!
I wrote about the The Four Stages of Competency, that begins with the Unconscious Incompetent, perhaps also known as our unconscious. Jung referred to it as our “shadow” side — the parts of ourselves we don’t know about, and frankly don’t want to face. When I wrote the back cover copy for my Connect2 Personality…
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Premarital and Couples: Permanent Record
We had dinner with our friends recently and learned that their son kept a “Permanent Record” of things his parents had done wrong during his childhood (e.g., they never had a dog). While it was funny, and piece of their family fabric and storytelling, the sad truth is that many of you keep a Permanent…
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Marriage Maintenance
According to research by Dr. John Gottman, who runs the “Love Lab” in Seattle, most couples wait an average of six years from the time they sense issues in their relationship before they seek help! Yikes! Who would wait that long before taking their car in to the shop? By the time couples get to…
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“The Art of Racing in the Rain” by Garth Stein
I recently read The Art of Racing in the Rain for the second time, and liked it just as much as I did the first time. It is a bitter-sweet story that is very well written. If you can’t relate to cars or driving at all, it may not be the book for you —…
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Twin Babies Talking: Early Communication Patterns Can Be Changed
Check out this video on YouTube of baby twins “talking” to one another. As you’re watching, think about how you communicate with your partner. Here are a few things to notice: Take away the words you speak and put in “Blah, blah, blah” How and where you stand, how you use your body How much “air-time”…
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Premarital and Couples: “Our Deepest Fear” by Marianne Williamson
What is your deepest fear? As you read the quote below, please be thinking about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. What does this mean to you? What does it remind you of? How does it apply? How do you hold back? Come forward? Be authentic? “Our Deepest Fear Our deepest fear is not that we…
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Premarital and Couples: How to Stop an Argument
How to Stop An Argument Follow these simple steps to stop an argument: 1. Close your mouth (really, it works! But read on . . . ). 2. Make the “T” for time-out signal with your hands. 3. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt (his/her intention is useful, even if the impact on…
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Premarital and Couples: Trust Walk
A trust walk is a process between two people in which one person has his or her eyes closed (or blind-folded), and the other leads them on a walk. The eyes-open person has to be explicit in his/her verbals instructions to avoid any and all obstacles, e.g.”There’s a tree root sticking up a few inches…
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Premarital and Couples: An Affair Myth: Not Getting Enough at Home
In her book NOT “Just Friends” Shirley Glass, Ph.D. writes about the research she has conducted about affairs. One result blows away an old myth: That the person having the affair wasn’t getting enough at home. The truth is that the person having an affair wasn’t GIVING enough at home. When you are giving to your…
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10 Tips for the Holidays
These holiday tips are not rocket science. Nonetheless, they are important reminders for good self-care and pacing through the holidays. 1. Make a list of your “family of choice” and spend time with them. Some people on your list may also be your family of origin. Make time to be alone, too, if that suits…