1. Do I respond (vs. react) and give empathy when listening to my spouse?

Yes.
No.
I respond, but don’t give empathy.

1. Do I have my partner’s back no matter what?

Yes.
No.
Usually, but not with extended family.

1. Do I seek sex from my spouse?

Yes.
No.
I do, but I don’t initiate it.

1. Do I comfort my mate?

Yes.
No.
I try, but it doesn’t seem to help.

1. Do I create home as a haven that rejuvenates us?

Yes.
No.
At times.

1. Do we go on a weekly date and not talk about kids?

Yes.
No.
At times.

1. Do I hug, kiss, and say hello and goodbye?

Yes.
No.
At times.

1. Do I criticize or tell my spouse how to do things better?

Yes.
No.
I’m just being efficient.

1. When in a disagreement with my partner, I . . .

Fight.
Flee.
Work to understand and repair.

1. When I need something from my spouse, I . . .

Ask explicitly.
Demand.
Make him/her figure it out.

1. My spouse has complained about my device use?

Yes.
No.
We’re together, but I’m often on my device.

1. I explicitly know and do my part of caring for our children and home.

Yes.
No.
We have not discussed it explicitly, but I do my part.

1. I am a good steward of our money.

Yes.
No.
We don’t have a plan, so I’m not sure.

No matter what your score, if you want to improve your marriage, there are tools and skills you can learn.

Be sure to check out Connect2’s Recommended Reading to learn how to have a healthier and happier marriage.

Top score: 100
86-100. Great! You are working on your marriage and it’s paying off. You must have good tools and skills.
71-85. Doing really well. Make a little more effort in the areas you scored lower on.
51-70. Time to refocus on your marriage. A small adjustment now can get you back on track.
30-50. Time to get some help; read books, make a concerted effort to resolve issues, seek counseling.
0-29. Before you head out the door, see if you have enough rope left to create “Marriage 2” that is healthy and happy.

Hot spouses hit the red zone on the next page!