Connect2 Marriage Counseling

Author: Chandrama Anderson, MFT

  • “You Gotta Have Balls [to do counseling] . . .

    . . . It’s really scary, taking a look at yourself.” A man said this to me yesterday while asking for my help. It is scary, it does take balls (or the female equivalent), it is hard work, it is exhausting, it does mean facing the parts of yourself that you wish would just go…

  • Check Your Best Self at the Door

    When you embark on your day, many of you either consciously or by habit, get focused on what lies ahead.  You think about what you need to do and how you will navigate your day by bringing your best Self to the table. I’d like to propose an experiment in which you do that When You Get…

  • “Real Sex for Real Women” by Dr. Laura Berman

    I recommend “Real Sex for Real Women” as it is a straightforward, educational, detailed book about sex — and emotional connection. Dr. Berman’s book provides a clear and simple pathway to intimacy and passion for women. She discusses typical problems women encounter and gives solid suggestions for them. My only concern about this book is that while…

  • Marriage Maintenance

    According to research by Dr. John Gottman, who runs the “Love Lab” in Seattle, most couples wait an average of six years from the time they sense issues in their relationship before they seek help! Yikes! Who would wait that long before taking their car in to the shop? By the time couples get to…

  • Premarital and Couples: Tips for Hearing (Listening) and Being Known

    You just want to be heard and understood deeply. Showing interest in your partner and his or her life leads to a great many wonderful things in a relationship. Below is a list of open-ended phrases for you to experiment with as you talk and listen to your partner (remember listening is not waiting for your turn…

  • “Better” Dads and “Re-invigorated” Moms: Happier Couples

    I read an article by Rachel Zucker on the NY Times website: “Honey, Let’s Get a Little Divorced.” One thing that caught my attention was Rachel’s wondering why she hears of post-divorce Dads becoming better Dads, and post-divorce Moms returning to set-aside dreams and “finding themselves.”  Dad takes charge of parenting more (without Mom’s interventions or criticisms),…

  • “The Art of Racing in the Rain” by Garth Stein

    I recently read The Art of Racing in the Rain for the second time, and liked it just as much as I did the first time. It is a bitter-sweet story that is very well written. If you can’t relate to cars or driving at all, it may not be the book for you —…

  • Twin Babies Talking: Early Communication Patterns Can Be Changed

    Check out this video on YouTube of baby twins “talking” to one another. As you’re watching, think about how you communicate with your partner. Here are a few things to notice: Take away the words you speak and put in “Blah, blah, blah” How and where you stand, how you use your body How much “air-time”…

  • Premarital and Couples: Musings on Life

    Musings on Life As I sit in my living room, I hear so many different sounds: my dog’s breath as he sleeps by my side, the antique German clock ticking, Caltrain on the rails, songbirds and squirrels in the oak trees, the newspaper rattling in my love’s hands, cars and motorcycles on their way to destinations unknown…

  • Premarital and Couples: “Our Deepest Fear” by Marianne Williamson

    What is your deepest fear? As you read the quote below, please be thinking about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. What does this mean to you? What does it remind you of? How does it apply? How do you hold back? Come forward? Be authentic? “Our Deepest Fear Our deepest fear is not that we…