Category: Couple Therapy
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Guessing “This is Never Gonna Go our Way . . .
Guessing “This is Never Gonna Go our Way . . . This is never gonna go our way if I am gonna have to guess what’s on your mind.” I Believe, Mumford & Sons. You can’t have your partner guessing what’s going on with you if you want a healthy relationship. Because I usually see…
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Say Yes or No?
Say Yes or No? I often hear from clients that your partner doesn’t want to do things with you that they’re not interested in. You get to say yes or no. How does that work with the idea of being in each other’s care, and doing the best thing for the relationship? My husband is…
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Marriage Interview 14: They Almost Didn’t Meet
Marriage Interview 14: They Almost Didn’t Meet November 22, 1963. President John F. Kennedy was shot and killed. The nation was in shock. People were crying. Neither Robert nor Deborah knew this date would lead to their marriage. Set up by friends of theirs, Robert and Deborah were to go on a double blind date…
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Pornography
Pornography I realized that with all the topics I have written about, I have not written about pornography. In the realm of modeling behavior I believe in (in this case being explicit in communication), I will say that I have heard so many stories with poor endings that involve pornography. If you have an explicit…
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Holding Hands — Why Not?
Holding Hands — Why Not? I went to see The St. John’s Choir of Cambridge (England) perform at Stanford Memorial Church. My husband and I sat in the balcony over the north transept, holding hands. This location provided a good spot for people watching in much of the church, as well as seeing most of…
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Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling
Your Relationship is the “Client” in Couples Counseling You have each made a commitment to one another and to your relationship; a partner bond that goes both ways. If that bond going both ways breaks down, and you are experiencing difficulty in your marriage, perhaps you will seek couples counseling. I see relationship counseling for…
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One Type of Difficulty in Marriage
One Type of Difficulty in Marriage I read the following description of a troubled marriage in Barefoot to Avalon, by David Payne. The book is an intimate look into family systems, pain, joy, dysfunction under the surface (think iceberg), and ultimately about love. There are many ways a marriage can be troubled, and this is…
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Afraid of Hurting My Partner’s Feelings
Afraid of Hurting Your Partner’s Feelings Do you avoid talking about certain topics because you are afraid of hurting your partner’s feelings? Many couples do. The proverbial pile under the rug gets so big that it’s a circuitous route around it. Unfortunately there are consequences well beyond hurt feelings when you leave things unaddressed in…
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Sex in the South and East Asian/Arab Communities
Sex in the South and East Asian and Arab Communities I am not claiming to be an expert on sex in the South and East Asian and Arab communities. Yet with the mix of nationalities of people in the Bay Area and Silicon Valley, it means that there are many South and East Asian and…
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Phubbing and other Phone Behavior
Phubbing and other Phone Behavior It seems there is always something new to learn: Phubbing and other Phone Behavior is the most recent for me. The term: Phubbing. According to Baylor University, it means “partner phone snubbing,” or when incessant cell-phone checking damages romantic relationships. Texting Teens and Anxiety I also read about a study…