Category: Couples Counselor
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You’re Not Doing it Right!
Dear Chandrama, My husband does things that drive me crazy, and I want him to stop! For example, he reloads the dishwasher, tells me where to turn when I’m driving, criticizes the way I chop vegetables, and doesn’t want me to help put his tools away. Why does he treat me like I’m stupid and…
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Isn’t That Nice
I was at a concert recently, minding the box office, when a man rushed in saying he was bringing his wife her eyeglasses. I pointed him through the double doors. Soon he came out and left. A few minutes later, his wife came out complaining. “My husband is color-blind. I asked him to bring me…
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The Grace of Nelson Mandela: An Example for Couples
The more I read about Mandela, the more I am impressed by his grace and humility. He initiated healing – and connecting – conversations with many people and organizations that caused great harm to a nation, a people, and to him, personally. He sets a great example for how couples can treat each other: To…
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Grief and the Holidays
All the hubaloo around Christmas and New Year celebrations can be so painful or irrelevant when we’re grieving the death of a loved one, a loss of a relationship, a miscarriage or infertility, a job. It’s so hard to imagine that people are joyous, and that life is moving along — so quickly, while we…
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The Year in Review
What one or two things will I do better than I did in 2103 that will make my marriage stronger and healthier and happier? Let’s make a list of ideas. I’ll start: I will purposely remember falling in love, and nurture those feelings – now! I will put his needs equally with my own, and…
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The Changing American Family
How is your family configured? Are you still married to your first spouse? Do you have children from multiple marriages? Are you a blended family? Are you a single mom by choice? Are you a same gender family? Are you single by choice? Are you a couple without kids? Did you have trouble with fertility?…
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For Thanksgiving, Write Thanks to Your Beloved (e.g., Thanks for warming up my feet every night.)
I don’t think anyone can be told too much how s/he’s appreciated. So in honor of Thanksgiving, a wonderful holiday of family, friends and food, let’s give thanks to our partners in a public forum. Post a specific thing or two you are thankful for about your beloved. You can decide if it’s anonymous, or…
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Doghouse
If you’re in the doghouse, or you put your partner in the doghouse, I encourage BOTH of you to work on getting him/her out. I know this seems contrary to putting your beloved in the doghouse. When we’re a couple, we’re in this together, and we have to work together to keep a healthy, happy…
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When Donating to Relief Efforts, Gets Kids Involved
If you choose to make a donation to help with relief efforts in the Philippines, or other places, or to donate food to Second Harvest Food Bank, get your kids involved. On Couple’s Net I will be advocating couple time: time without your kids (and not even talking about them) to build or rebuild your…
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Neuroplasticity: Ask for a Change
I’ve been writing a lot recently about looking at ourselves and making changes in our own behavior (which is in our scope of influence ). I know some of you are wondering when I’m going to talk about changing HIM or HER. I know this because people call and email me every day asking how…