Category: Couples Therapy
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Communal Sexual Strength and Motivation
Communal Sexual Strength and Motivation In the October issue of Psychology Today I finally found a name for something I’ve been talking to clients about for many years: it’s called communal motivation, or communal strength*. If it’s important to you, it’s important to me. No Score Keeping You give to each other willingly and you…
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Joe, Joan, and Helen: Crossdressing
Joe, Joan, and Helen: Crossdressing “Joan is my feminine side,” Joe told me. Joe has been dressing in women’s clothes since he was a young boy. Joe and Helen have been married for 25 years. They met at a dance and dinner party, hit it off, and have been a couple ever since. Joe is…
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Increasing Number of Women Having Affairs
Increasing Number of Women Having Affairs I’ve noticed the trend of more women having affairs, and have been wondering about whether others had also noticed it, and what the reasons may be. I had a look around at the research and found a Bloomberg article from July 2013 that reported research from the National Opinion…
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Performance Review Your Marriage?
Performance Review Your Marriage? A recent Wall Street Journal article, A Performance Review May be Good for Your Marriage, suggests doing periodic marriage performance reviews. I support this idea. Small Corrections Early are the Best At times a small correction sooner than later is akin to redirecting an ocean liner or freighter — getting a…
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Five Do’s and Don’ts for Surviving Miscarriage
Five Do’s and Don’ts for Surviving Miscarriage Fit Pregnancy magazine recently asked for my expert opinion about finding ways that miscarriage can make you stronger. It’s an excellent article; I enjoyed writing for them to help women and couples. The main point I want to make here: Women: if you’re asking yourself whether you did…
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Umpqua
Umpqua My daughter died in-utero 17 years ago in the midst of five miscarriages. I have done everything I can think of to keep my son safe (and not smother him in the process). I probably sat by his bed checking his breathing a little more than usual when he was little. And yet, truly,…
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Marriage Interview 11: “Normal” Engineer Couple
Marriage Interview 11:”Normal” Engineer Couple George and Victoria met in 1990 through a matching service. But for some reason George didn’t return Victoria’s call for a few weeks, and when he finally did, she was literally on a date with an another man. Victoria was excited that George called, though, because on paper they were…
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Number One at Home, “Average” Here?
Number One at Home, “Average” Here? Were you number one in your class? Were you the smart kid? A geek? Whether you got kudos for it or bullied, or a reaction in between, your smarts are likely tied in with your self-image.Now that you’re here in Silicon Valley, you’re probably in with your peers — you…
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Better!
Better! I find it very interesting that since I wrote about my grief and fuzzy brain last week, it is clearing up. I am profoundly grateful for this change. Journaling I definitely can’t say it’s a causal link. But I do know from years of journaling that writing things out helps me make sense of…
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Seven Months Since Mom Died
Seven Months Since Mom Died I really miss mom. I find myself talking to her sometimes; telling her how much I love her. I’ve been planting a succulent garden and growing tomatoes. I know she would be glad as she always offered to help me with gardening. So I find myself enjoying it just a…