Category: Marriage Therapy
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Here Come the Holidays: Get Couple-Ready
While this may be a time of family, love, thanks, giving, cheer, good food, and relaxing around the fireplace with good friends, it also may be a time of stress, high and/or differing expectations, extra activities, shopping, family drama, disappointment, and mixed signals. This would be an especially good time to get on the same…
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A World Series Example: Be Explicit
Game one, second inning; St. Louis’s Wainwright pitching, high pop up. Looks like he signals that he’ll catch it. Catcher Molina comes running up, but defers to Wainwright’s “signal.” They are standing a few feet apart. Either one could easily catch it. The ball falls to the ground between them. Thud. Runner goes to first.…
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Go Ahead, Have a Fight
Many disagreements come about because we don’t understand our partner’s intention, and s/he does not anticipate the impact that action or behavior will have on me. We have to remember that s/he did not grow up in our family, and s/he is not going to act “right” [meaning the way we expect or want] at…
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In-laws to Love, or In-Laws from Hell?
I fell in love today. It was not with my husband (this time). It was with a Macintosh computer. It happened once before; I can barely remember the year – it was a Mac Plus, there were hardly any apps for it. I spent hours with it in my attic apartment on Kipling Street in…
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Love Means Having Someone to Lose: Engineers Not Exempt
Formula 1 race driver and World champion Niki Lauda reminds me of a lot of Silicon Valley engineers I’ve met. I saw the movie ‘Rush’ a few days ago with my teenage son, and I was struck by Lauda’s brilliance, calculated risk-taking, and execution (I promise I won’t spoil the plot for you). Lauda initially…
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Check Your Best Self at the Door
When you embark on your day, many of you either consciously or by habit, get focused on what lies ahead. You think about what you need to do and how you will navigate your day by bringing your best Self to the table. I’d like to propose an experiment in which you do that When You Get…
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Couples: Increase in Parental Romance = Happier Kids, Too
As parents, many of you spend a lot of time and energy thinking about what’s best for your kids. In many families, kids are prioritized above one’s partner. I believe you need to choose your partner overy our kids, by just a little bit. This provides a home where parents are showing love and care for…