Category: Marriage Therapy
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Arguing in Public
Arguing in public I went for a walk out at Princeton Point near Half Moon Bay in December. The rain had stopped after pouring the night before, and it was damp and fresh. I watched a Snowy Egret digging for lunch, a powered parasail fly overhead, saw dogs, surfers, couples and families. Pretty soon I…
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It’s Easier to Love Someone When You Make Them Happy
“It’s Easier to Love Someone When You Make Them Happy.” I saw this quote in a book I’m reading, and it struck a chord in me. It made me think of all of you. It is easier to love someone when you can see, hear, and feel that you are making them happy. Let me…
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Grateful for Love
Grateful for Love I feel such gratitude and thanksgiving this year, even though Mom is dying. I am grateful for you, readers of Couple’s Net. I am grateful for Mom. I am grateful for the son she created, who is my lovely husband. I am grateful for my own son, who is the light of…
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Truly Loved
Truly Loved What would happen if we let ourselves be truly loved? Fully loved? I believe that many would say they would love to be loved fully or are letting themselves be truly loved. I wonder if there are pockets of resistance to being truly loved? I am thinking of things like: Can I love…
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Fine, Good, Okay
Fine, Good, Okay Do you answer fine, good, or okay when asked how you are? How are you? “Fine.” How are you? “Good.” How are you? “Okay.” Do you have any idea how your beloved is when you get one of these replies? Personal Weather Report When I ask couples to check in with each…
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See Me. Hear Me. Don’t Fix Me.
It seems so simple. How come it is so difficult to just See me. Hear me. Don’t fix me? But to see, listen and not fix is harder than to reassure or apologize. Just Get Me and Love Me for Who I Am We need to know our spouse gets us. We are competent, intelligent…
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Couples: Parallel Play or Interactive Play?
Couples: Parallel Play or Interactive Play? Are couples interacting and enjoying one another? Or are they living parallel lives, co-parenting, good roommates, going to functions, socializing, but always with others so they are not alone together? Parallel Play Young children play alone, enjoying a box as much as the gift that came in that box.…
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Kids and Marital Satisfaction
Kids and marital satisfaction have been studied a lot. Research “More than a hundred studies show that marital satisfaction falls off a cliff after the birth of the first child and doesn’t get much better until the last child leaves for college,” writes John Gartner, Ph.D in ‘Child.ol’.a.try’ in Psychology Today. Yikes! How Come Kids…
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Are You Communicating More or Less?
Are You Communicating More or Less? Isn’t it true that everywhere we go these days people are talking, texting, scrolling and swiping on devices? I find myself wondering if we had this much to say before we had these devices? I don’t recall being on our landlines telephones constantly . . . And yet, is…
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Do More, Faster and Faster. Limits? Not for Me!
Dr. Stephanie Brown, internationally renowned expert and founder of the Addictions Institute in Menlo Park talks about her latest book SPEED. Interviewed by Chandrama Anderson, MFT, with a couples focus, Stephanie talks about the desire, the lure, even, to do more, faster and faster. Limits? Not for me! As you watch the interview on the Connect2…