Category: Marriage Therapy
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Not Witty or Fun for Families
As a follow on to the last post, about serial relationships, on TV, at least, it all looks witty or fun, in which the “conversation with their ex, in front of their new spouse while their kids look on soaking it all up” I would venture to say from what I see and hear in…
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Body Language and Tone
In “Couple Watching” I wrote about observing couples’ communication through body language and tone. I want to clarify that we can not assume what is going on from what we see. Tone Maybe she’s talking in the ‘tone’ because she’s found that by this point in a given conversation, she can’t get his attention any…
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Couple Watching
I love to do Couple Watching. I was getting in the car recently with the window rolled most of the way up, and I saw a couple passing on the sidewalk. I couldn’t hear any words; only her tone of voice and I watched their body language. Tone Couples often complain about the “tone” their…
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Mother asks About Plural Relationships
June, thanks for sending in your question about plural relationships. Remember that as I am answering, I do not know these people and can not jump to conclusions about their emotional or mental state. I think the more important question is whether you are happy with your relationship with your son? Are you getting what…
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I Hate Cancer
I Hate Cancer! I hate cancer. I really do. Don’t you hate cancer? My lovely MIL is at the tail end of treatment; I’m her advocate with the docs and nurses and insurance company. My husband is a survivor, too, and the memories of his treatment and recovery are easily triggered. Friends and clients, my…
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What if the World Blew Up While You Were Arguing?
Richard Condie’s animated film, The Big Snit, from the late 80’s, is a hilarious take on the ongoing arguments that couples have while they miss what’s going on around them. The scene begin with the couple playing Scrabble, in which the husband has all “Es” and is thinking what to do. Their habitual arguments lead…
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Thinking of Sending Your Kids to Therapy?
Before you send your kids to therapy, consider coming to couples counseling first. How come? The time, energy, and money you spend will go directly to your well-being and happiness as individuals, a couple, and as a family. Often, issues with kids end up getting sorted out as you become a stronger couple and have…
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Why Does She Keep Interrupting Me?
Interruption, or Bid for Connection? Are you busy, working away, or engrossed in some project and your wife tends to come in and “interrupt” you with a detail that seems unimportant to you? She’s probably actually trying to connect with you. Remember that we are wired for connection (I know, I keep saying this). Connection…
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I want to change my life . . .
Dear Chandrama, I want to change my life and I’m finding it hard to do. I am scared, and realize that in some areas I am stuck in my ways. My husband wants me to change, too. Any advice? Stuck Dear Stuck, What a personal and universal question you have asked. In “New Life, No…
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“Everything has a Crack. That’s How the Light Gets In.”
Our marriage is not perfect; our partner can not fulfill all of our needs (yet may fill many); our children are not the reflected best aspects of ourselves – and neither should they be. The goal is for “Good Enough,” and I mean that in a psychological sense, not in a tepid, adequate, “Oh who…