Category: Power
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Marriage Interview 7: He Works 24 Hours a Day
Marriage Interview 7: He Works 24 Hours a Day Lui and Leon met at work in 2004 and began dating a month later. They married three months after that, and have been married for 10 years. Lonely Lui says that Leon works 24 hours a day, and she is lonely. I’m not sure how many…
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Marriage Interview 6: Blind to Clutter
Marriage Interview 6: Blind to Clutter Mandy and Sam met in college in 1988 and began dating a year later. They waited 15 years before getting married, and now have been married for 13 years. Clutter One of their biggest problems is that Sam is “clutter-blind.” I know a lot of you have the same…
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Dual Full-time+ Workers, Kids
Dual Full-time+ Workers, Kids When you both work long hours, travel, are under pressure, do email at night, care for kids, is it any wonder that you are exhausted and don’t know how to find balance, let alone find a moment to breathe? I see so many couples in this circumstance. They are unhappy, and…
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Couple’s Strife: 3 Tools for a Happier Relationship
What Is the Biggest Cause of Strife in a Relationship? This is the question that both men and women have been asking me recently. The topic is big enough to warrant a book, yet I will tackle it in short form. My hope is that this will give you several things to think about as…
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Premarital Conversations
Premarital Conversations You’re in love, wearing rose-colored glasses, ready to marry, busy with wedding planning. It’s an exciting time. Relish being engaged, it’s a special phase that you won’t have again. I’ve noticed from my work with premarital couples that there may be topics that you haven’t discussed yet, and it’s a good idea to…
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Marriage Interview 3: Being Vulnerable Can be Very Scary
Marriage Interview 3: Being Vulnerable Can be Very Scary “It’s kind of funny that we can easily touch each others’ body parts, but letting someone into your heart and mind is somehow much more intimate.” How They Met and Married Sandra met her husband to be when she was at work, performing, and Paul was…
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Anger: Use It Wisely
Why Anger Is Important I am for anger. It’s a useful feeling that lets us know a boundary has been crossed. Anger lets us know we need to do something about that. It’s what and how we do it, and in what volume and circumstance that we express our anger, that can make anger constructive…
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Arguing in Public
Arguing in public I went for a walk out at Princeton Point near Half Moon Bay in December. The rain had stopped after pouring the night before, and it was damp and fresh. I watched a Snowy Egret digging for lunch, a powered parasail fly overhead, saw dogs, surfers, couples and families. Pretty soon I…
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Truly Loved
Truly Loved What would happen if we let ourselves be truly loved? Fully loved? I believe that many would say they would love to be loved fully or are letting themselves be truly loved. I wonder if there are pockets of resistance to being truly loved? I am thinking of things like: Can I love…
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See Me. Hear Me. Don’t Fix Me.
It seems so simple. How come it is so difficult to just See me. Hear me. Don’t fix me? But to see, listen and not fix is harder than to reassure or apologize. Just Get Me and Love Me for Who I Am We need to know our spouse gets us. We are competent, intelligent…