Connect2 Marriage Counseling

Category: premarital counseling

  • Are you Kinder to Strangers than to Your Partner?

    Is there a grain of truth to the statement “I am kinder to a stranger than I am to my partner/spouse?” If so, consider these questions: How did I get here? How long has this been true? Is this new for me, or a repeating pattern? How did I treat my partner before? What’s my…

  • Are Female Orgasms the Key to Inner Hunger in Women?

    While watching a video about gratitude on TED, I stumbled across a video of Nicole Daedone’s talk about the inner “hunger” in women; truly a cry for connection beyond shopping, errands, mothering, career, etc. Nicole has a book out and a center for sexuality that she truly believes will change the world; a woman’s self…

  • Premarital and Couples: Here Be Dragons!

    I wrote about the The Four Stages of Competency, that begins with the Unconscious Incompetent, perhaps also known as our unconscious. Jung referred to it as our “shadow” side — the parts of ourselves we don’t know about, and frankly don’t want to face. When I wrote the back cover copy for my Connect2 Personality…

  • “Who we are . . . depends in part . . . on who we love.”

    One of my favorite books is “A General Theory of Love.” Lewis, Amini and Lannon write poetically about love research, and they talk about limbic resonance, limbic regulation and limbic revision. The limbic part of the brain is the emotional brain. The gist of it is this: when in proximity to one another we exchange…

  • Are We the Only Couple Having Problems?

    No, you are not. Despite how other couples look to you, you are definitely not the only one having problems. In the same way that you don’t want anyone to know your relationship is in trouble, other couples are doing the same. A few years ago I helped present a two-Saturday couples workshop with Kathryn…

  • Premarital and Couples: Thankful / Grateful / Appreciation

    Those of you who are my clients already know that I encourage you to be thankful and appreciative, even for the small things that you expect your partner to do, and to say “Thank you” often and specifically. For example., “Thank you for doing the dishes,” or “Thank you for bringing me coffee in bed,”…

  • Helping Partners Become Couples (vs. Helping Couples Become Partners)

    I was recently told that my tag line, Helping Partners Become Couples, is backwards and should be Helping Couples Become Partners. In my experience with many, many couples, they are generally good partners already. They are “good enough” co-parents, manage their careers, household, social life, finances, vacations, and other responsibilities together pretty well. Yet they are…

  • Premarital and Couples: Permanent Record

    We had dinner with our friends recently and learned that their son kept a “Permanent Record” of things his parents had done wrong during his childhood (e.g., they never had a dog). While it was funny, and piece of their family fabric and storytelling, the sad truth is that many of you keep a Permanent…

  • Premarital and Couples: “Our Deepest Fear” by Marianne Williamson

    What is your deepest fear? As you read the quote below, please be thinking about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. What does this mean to you? What does it remind you of? How does it apply? How do you hold back? Come forward? Be authentic? “Our Deepest Fear Our deepest fear is not that we…

  • Couples: Increase in Parental Romance = Happier Kids, Too

    As parents, many of you spend a lot of time and energy thinking about what’s best for your kids. In many families, kids are prioritized above one’s partner. I believe you need to choose your partner overy our kids, by just a little bit. This provides a home where parents are showing love and care for…