Category: Relationship Counseling
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How Does Psychotherapy Work? Very Simply.
How Does Psychotherapy Work? Very Simply. I was recently reading “Shrunken Heads” by Gregory Lester, Ph.D., and came across these descriptions of what psychotherapy is and how it works: “Psychotherapy. . . is a treatment activity that is designed to work on the mechanisms of the human psyche in such a way as to give…
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Marriage Interview 10: A Cross-Cultural Love Story
Marriage Interview 10: A Cross-Cultural Love Story Katja and Bob are celebrating their 44th anniversary in August. They fell in love in 1970 and got married in 1971. Serendipity Bob was a hot salesman sent over to Europe to determine where and how to expand his company’s business. He travelled without a pre-determined itinerary, and…
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Marriage Interview 9: Make a Date to Have Sex
. . . And Deeply Understand Yourself and Your Partner Make a Date to Have Sex Jessica and Steve just celebrated their 25th anniversary. Steve is 72 and Jessica is 68. They met in 1989 at Hobee’s in Town and Country (incidentally where we met for coffee at Peet’s,) after finding one another through ads…
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Meditation Before Medication for Better Mental Health
Please note: I am not a doctor, and I am not prescribing anything. I am not advocating that anyone stop their medication without consulting their doctor. I suggest you consult your doctor when you have a health concern. Certain mental health issues require medication. Many doctors view meditation as a good addition to Western medicine.…
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Give Way or Have it Your Way?
Give Way or Have it Your Way? What does Give Way mean in a relationship context? Active vs. Passive Yielding I’m thinking this morning of active yielding vs. passive yielding. Passive giving way may be a path of not dealing with an issue. Active giving way can be a healthy choice for a marriage. Some…
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Her Latest Lesbian Lover is the Wife of one our Mutual Male Friends
Her Latest Lesbian Lover is the Wife of one our Mutual Male Friends Jerry posted what you will read below as a comment on a previous column, and a discussion ensued there. Because there are so many layers to it, and many are common to affairs, I wanted to write about it as a separate column.…
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Marriage Interview 8: “Spit Out All the Hairballs”
Denise and Dominic met 28 years ago and have been married 27 years. A mutual friend introduced them once they were both over their divorces from marriages they made at age 20. A lovely brunch and hike ensued, and they have been a couple ever since. The early days of their relationship were long-distance, and…
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She Doesn’t Want Sex; He Doesn’t Want to Talk, Part II
She Doesn’t Want Sex; He Doesn’t Want to Talk, Part IISilence I purposely left silence last week because that is what can happen when not talking and not having sex go on for a while. That silence gets filled with logistics, focus on kids and extended family, schedules, vacation planning, time with other couples, and…
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He Doesn’t Want to Talk. She Doesn’t Want to Have Sex.
He Doesn’t Want to Talk. She Doesn’t Want to Have Sex. . . . Palo Alto, Menlo Park, Woodside, Portola Valley, Los Altos, Sunnyvale, Mountain View, Belmont, San Mateo, San Carlos, San Jose, Santa Clara, Campbell San Ramon, Danville, Pleasanton, Alamo, Livermore, Castro Valley, Sunol, Dublin , Walnut Creek, Pleasant Hill, Orinda, Hayward, Oakland,…
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Stuff It or Talk About It?
Stuff It or Talk About It? I finished reading Hurricane Sisters, and the husband came home begging for forgiveness. The couple spent the whole night talking, and then agreed never to talk about his affair again, and she would take him back. Hollywood vs. Regular Lives This is the work of novels and Hollywood.…