Category: Relationship Therapy
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Here Come the Holidays: Get Couple-Ready
While this may be a time of family, love, thanks, giving, cheer, good food, and relaxing around the fireplace with good friends, it also may be a time of stress, high and/or differing expectations, extra activities, shopping, family drama, disappointment, and mixed signals. This would be an especially good time to get on the same…
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A World Series Example: Be Explicit
Game one, second inning; St. Louis’s Wainwright pitching, high pop up. Looks like he signals that he’ll catch it. Catcher Molina comes running up, but defers to Wainwright’s “signal.” They are standing a few feet apart. Either one could easily catch it. The ball falls to the ground between them. Thud. Runner goes to first.…
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Go Ahead, Have a Fight
Many disagreements come about because we don’t understand our partner’s intention, and s/he does not anticipate the impact that action or behavior will have on me. We have to remember that s/he did not grow up in our family, and s/he is not going to act “right” [meaning the way we expect or want] at…
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In-laws to Love, or In-Laws from Hell?
I fell in love today. It was not with my husband (this time). It was with a Macintosh computer. It happened once before; I can barely remember the year – it was a Mac Plus, there were hardly any apps for it. I spent hours with it in my attic apartment on Kipling Street in…
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Love Means Having Someone to Lose: Engineers Not Exempt
Formula 1 race driver and World champion Niki Lauda reminds me of a lot of Silicon Valley engineers I’ve met. I saw the movie ‘Rush’ a few days ago with my teenage son, and I was struck by Lauda’s brilliance, calculated risk-taking, and execution (I promise I won’t spoil the plot for you). Lauda initially…
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If You Don’t Ask, S/he Can’t Say “Yes”
True story. An attractive, smart, single, working young woman – can you say eligible, what the heck are you waiting for — told me recently that she wishes guys would approach her and strike up a conversation. Let’s see, what do you have to lose? Maybe you’re shy. Maybe you’re a geek. Maybe she’ll say…
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From Crazy in Love to Love of My Life
When we were courting (yes, I know that’s an old fashioned word), we were on our best behavior without any effort. We were trying to win over our beloved. S/he was the most amazing person we’d ever met. So beautiful/handsome. So sexy. Our hearts beat faster just thinking about each other. We couldn’t wait for…