Tag: arguing
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Parents Texting with Kids in the Car
I see parents texting with kids in the car more and more often now, and it scares me. I am going to be blunt here: Do you want to risk killing your kids, or make it such that they have no mother or father to raise them? What about the kids and parents in other…
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See Me. Hear Me. Don’t Fix Me.
It seems so simple. How come it is so difficult to just See me. Hear me. Don’t fix me? But to see, listen and not fix is harder than to reassure or apologize. Just Get Me and Love Me for Who I Am We need to know our spouse gets us. We are competent, intelligent…
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Couples: Parallel Play or Interactive Play?
Couples: Parallel Play or Interactive Play? Are couples interacting and enjoying one another? Or are they living parallel lives, co-parenting, good roommates, going to functions, socializing, but always with others so they are not alone together? Parallel Play Young children play alone, enjoying a box as much as the gift that came in that box.…
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Kids and Marital Satisfaction
Kids and marital satisfaction have been studied a lot. Research “More than a hundred studies show that marital satisfaction falls off a cliff after the birth of the first child and doesn’t get much better until the last child leaves for college,” writes John Gartner, Ph.D in ‘Child.ol’.a.try’ in Psychology Today. Yikes! How Come Kids…
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Are You Communicating More or Less?
Are You Communicating More or Less? Isn’t it true that everywhere we go these days people are talking, texting, scrolling and swiping on devices? I find myself wondering if we had this much to say before we had these devices? I don’t recall being on our landlines telephones constantly . . . And yet, is…
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Premarital and Couples: Do you Fight, Flight, or Freeze?
When you are triggered or flooded — i.e., upset or overwhelmed — do you fight, take flight, or freeze? These are the biologically wired-in options for humans. This has made us survive as a species. You need this tool; it also gets in your way in your relationship at times. I often see couples where…
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Premarital and Couples: Here Be Dragons!
I wrote about the The Four Stages of Competency, that begins with the Unconscious Incompetent, perhaps also known as our unconscious. Jung referred to it as our “shadow” side — the parts of ourselves we don’t know about, and frankly don’t want to face. When I wrote the back cover copy for my Connect2 Personality…
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Marriage Maintenance
According to research by Dr. John Gottman, who runs the “Love Lab” in Seattle, most couples wait an average of six years from the time they sense issues in their relationship before they seek help! Yikes! Who would wait that long before taking their car in to the shop? By the time couples get to…
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“The Art of Racing in the Rain” by Garth Stein
I recently read The Art of Racing in the Rain for the second time, and liked it just as much as I did the first time. It is a bitter-sweet story that is very well written. If you can’t relate to cars or driving at all, it may not be the book for you —…
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Twin Babies Talking: Early Communication Patterns Can Be Changed
Check out this video on YouTube of baby twins “talking” to one another. As you’re watching, think about how you communicate with your partner. Here are a few things to notice: Take away the words you speak and put in “Blah, blah, blah” How and where you stand, how you use your body How much “air-time”…