Tag: blended families
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Repeating and “You” Sentences
When we say or hear repeating and “you” sentences, it is a sign that we need to slow down. Repeating is a sign that we don’t feel heard, or we feel misunderstood; that our mate is brushing aside our words and the meanings behind them. So we repeat (turn up our volume) in the hopes of…
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Give More
Give More “We limit ourselves every day without even knowing it, simply by doing what we always do, falling into patterns, not pushing ourselves further. But every one of you has expressive reserves you’ve not yet discovered . . . tap into them, and go further, and give more than you ever have before .…
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See Me. Hear Me. Don’t Fix Me.
It seems so simple. How come it is so difficult to just See me. Hear me. Don’t fix me? But to see, listen and not fix is harder than to reassure or apologize. Just Get Me and Love Me for Who I Am We need to know our spouse gets us. We are competent, intelligent…
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Couples: Parallel Play or Interactive Play?
Couples: Parallel Play or Interactive Play? Are couples interacting and enjoying one another? Or are they living parallel lives, co-parenting, good roommates, going to functions, socializing, but always with others so they are not alone together? Parallel Play Young children play alone, enjoying a box as much as the gift that came in that box.…
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Kids and Marital Satisfaction
Kids and marital satisfaction have been studied a lot. Research “More than a hundred studies show that marital satisfaction falls off a cliff after the birth of the first child and doesn’t get much better until the last child leaves for college,” writes John Gartner, Ph.D in ‘Child.ol’.a.try’ in Psychology Today. Yikes! How Come Kids…
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Not Witty or Fun for Families
As a follow on to the last post, about serial relationships, on TV, at least, it all looks witty or fun, in which the “conversation with their ex, in front of their new spouse while their kids look on soaking it all up” I would venture to say from what I see and hear in…
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Marriage Maintenance
According to research by Dr. John Gottman, who runs the “Love Lab” in Seattle, most couples wait an average of six years from the time they sense issues in their relationship before they seek help! Yikes! Who would wait that long before taking their car in to the shop? By the time couples get to…
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10 Tips for the Holidays
These holiday tips are not rocket science. Nonetheless, they are important reminders for good self-care and pacing through the holidays. 1. Make a list of your “family of choice” and spend time with them. Some people on your list may also be your family of origin. Make time to be alone, too, if that suits…