Tag: communicating
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Marriage Interview 3: Being Vulnerable Can be Very Scary
Marriage Interview 3: Being Vulnerable Can be Very Scary “It’s kind of funny that we can easily touch each others’ body parts, but letting someone into your heart and mind is somehow much more intimate.” How They Met and Married Sandra met her husband to be when she was at work, performing, and Paul was…
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7 Do’s and Don’ts For Staying Connected as a Couple During Grief
7 Do’s and Don’ts For Staying Connected as a Couple During Grief My heart goes out to the families and friends of the young people who have died in our community lately. It is shocking and saddening beyond words. Give Comfort; Don’t Fix I specialize in working with couples that have lost a child. This…
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Gifts (that are not bought)
Gifts of One’s Essence My husband and I went away after mom’s memorial service, to heal, regroup, and grieve, and to celebrate life. We went to the Big Island of Hawaii, and all of our hosts gave us the gifts that express who they are in their essence. Presence, Fruit, Coffee Our first hosts in…
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Mom Died
Mom Died This was the first thing in my consciousness when I woke up this morning. Mom died. Overnight, this truth gets erased, and then comes back first thing each morning. She died Friday evening. Her partner was in the next room and my brothers-in-law had gone to get take out when she expired –…
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Waiting on the Edge of Death
Waiting on the Edge of Death All week I’ve been trying to write for you, readers. Instead I find myself pacing around, waiting, knowing these are the last few days of Mom’s life. I went to see her yesterday, and she did not know who I was, even though she knew on Saturday. I sat…
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A Love Script? A Dyadic Encounter
Mandy Len Catron wrote a column recently for the NY Times called To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This. 36 Questions The article is based on work done by Arthur Aron 20 years ago in which Aron created an experiment to see if he could script a set of ever deepening, and ever more…
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Anger: Use It Wisely
Why Anger Is Important I am for anger. It’s a useful feeling that lets us know a boundary has been crossed. Anger lets us know we need to do something about that. It’s what and how we do it, and in what volume and circumstance that we express our anger, that can make anger constructive…
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Getting Closer to Death
Getting Closer to Death Trial Run We had a trial run night before last. My mom was still breathing, but frozen and non-responsive. After a few hours, she did respond and is back to “normal” ill. It is so hard to see her ill. She was never sick until last year, at age 78, when…
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Arguing in Public
Arguing in public I went for a walk out at Princeton Point near Half Moon Bay in December. The rain had stopped after pouring the night before, and it was damp and fresh. I watched a Snowy Egret digging for lunch, a powered parasail fly overhead, saw dogs, surfers, couples and families. Pretty soon I…
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Death with Dignity
Death With Dignity Death with dignity is also known as assisted suicide for those with a terminal illness. I can hardly believe that I am having this conversation with my MIL, the mom of my heart (or mom-in-love, as one of my oldest friends wrote to me). As the pain from cancer throughout her body…