Tag: love
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Anger: Use It Wisely
Why Anger Is Important I am for anger. It’s a useful feeling that lets us know a boundary has been crossed. Anger lets us know we need to do something about that. It’s what and how we do it, and in what volume and circumstance that we express our anger, that can make anger constructive…
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Getting Closer to Death
Getting Closer to Death Trial Run We had a trial run night before last. My mom was still breathing, but frozen and non-responsive. After a few hours, she did respond and is back to “normal” ill. It is so hard to see her ill. She was never sick until last year, at age 78, when…
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Arguing in Public
Arguing in public I went for a walk out at Princeton Point near Half Moon Bay in December. The rain had stopped after pouring the night before, and it was damp and fresh. I watched a Snowy Egret digging for lunch, a powered parasail fly overhead, saw dogs, surfers, couples and families. Pretty soon I…
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Death with Dignity
Death With Dignity Death with dignity is also known as assisted suicide for those with a terminal illness. I can hardly believe that I am having this conversation with my MIL, the mom of my heart (or mom-in-love, as one of my oldest friends wrote to me). As the pain from cancer throughout her body…
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It’s Easier to Love Someone When You Make Them Happy
“It’s Easier to Love Someone When You Make Them Happy.” I saw this quote in a book I’m reading, and it struck a chord in me. It made me think of all of you. It is easier to love someone when you can see, hear, and feel that you are making them happy. Let me…
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Step-Family
Step-Family My four step-sons were here just after Thanksgiving. They are 27, 25, 14 and 11. This was the best time we’ve had together, despite the fact that their grandmother is dying. We went to see them in their natural habitat (Washington State) for a week, and then they came here to be with the…
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Grateful for Love
Grateful for Love I feel such gratitude and thanksgiving this year, even though Mom is dying. I am grateful for you, readers of Couple’s Net. I am grateful for Mom. I am grateful for the son she created, who is my lovely husband. I am grateful for my own son, who is the light of…
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Truly Loved
Truly Loved What would happen if we let ourselves be truly loved? Fully loved? I believe that many would say they would love to be loved fully or are letting themselves be truly loved. I wonder if there are pockets of resistance to being truly loved? I am thinking of things like: Can I love…
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Fine, Good, Okay
Fine, Good, Okay Do you answer fine, good, or okay when asked how you are? How are you? “Fine.” How are you? “Good.” How are you? “Okay.” Do you have any idea how your beloved is when you get one of these replies? Personal Weather Report When I ask couples to check in with each…
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Trying New Behaviors: Fear and Excitement
Trying new behaviors: Fear and excitement are on the same spectrum. Consider, in an evolutionary context, of hunters making the approach: fear and excitement. Think of current times, for example, preparing for a big presentation that may help you in your career, or trying to figure out what to say to your spouse about an…