Tag: nurture
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“That Sort of Jab Fell Under the Category of Unnecessary Roughness”
-Claire Cain This line jumped out at me from Cain’s novel. I’m not talking about football. Maybe you know what I mean because you are the recipient of those jabs. Or maybe you’re the one jabbing, and either you know what you’re doing, and keep choosing to jab your partner, or you’re oblivious to your…
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“No, it just explains it.”
“I probably saved you from being seriously injured.”Did he expect her to thank him for that? “So you think that excuses your behavior?”“No, it just explains it.” I read this in a Coatney novel recently, and it struck a nerve. Even without the context of the whole interaction, it’s clear she was nonplussed with his…
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How Did You See Your Parents Treat One Another?
If you want to know how your partner will treat you under stress, watch how his/her parents treat each other. So, why am I asking you this question? Because what you see growing up is set indelibly in your brain; they’re called neural pathways. And because people behave based on their pathways, even if they…
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My wife thinks I am keeping secrets . . .
Dear Chandrama, My wife thinks I am keeping secrets from her. I am just trying to protect her. I had a challenging upbringing; hers was protected. That innocence attracted me to her, plus she is smart and attractive and we’re like-minded on many issues and values. What am I doing wrong? Dear What am I…
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Couples and Premarital: Shelter, Harbor . . .
. . . cover, defend, guard, protect, screen, shield, ward . . These are synonyms for shelter. But what if you feel stuck in the house with your partner and your unresolved issues? Sheltering These are indeed strange times. We have been ordered to Shelter in Place. This can be an opportunity for your relationship.…
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Supporting your Beloved Partner in Corona Virus Times
It’s possible you each have different thoughts and feelings about the Corona virus and the safety of your family and each other. Maybe you’re on the same page about it. Here’s how to support your beloved. What’s most important is to talk about it with an open mind and curiosity. This allows room for thoughts,…
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Premarital: Women Over 50 Do Get Married
Wedding Bells After Fifty by Autumn Marie is a read I recommend. There’s a myth that women over 50 won’t get married, and this book is out to dispel that. Ten stories plus the author’s are presented. The women are from all walks of life, many ethnicities and backgrounds. The overwhelming theme of the book…
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Taking or Receiving in a Marriage or Relationship
I’ve been sick with a bad cold that has put me back to basics (sleep, eat). My husband is working FT (at a stressful job). My brother in-law is here this week, and my step-sons, too. Normally, I would be taking care of shopping and meals for all, plus doing my work (not quite FT).…
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What’s Your Attachment Style and Why Does it Matter to Your Relationship?
Attachment Let’s start with explaining attachment, which is developed in early childhood, with your primary caregiver. Depending on the type of care you received (consistent, loving & dependable; unreliable in when it would be loving and supportive; or often ignored), this leads to one of three types of attachment: Secure (anchor), anxious (wave), and avoidant…
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Wasband: How to Retain Your Marriage
Wasband: How to Retain Your Marriage This is my new word for the week. A husband who no longer is married to you is a wasband. Does waswife work as well? Do you want to retain your marriage? In order to avoid having a wasband or waswife, you do actually have to work on your…