Tag: time
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Signs and Symptoms of Parallel Living
Signs and Symptoms of Parallel Living As I wrote recently in my best tip for marriage – which is to take care of it, I’ve been thinking of the signs and symptoms of parallel living that I see and hear about. Parallel living overall is the opposite of living as an intimate married couple. If…
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Sleep Differentials Between Spouses
Sleep Differentials Between Spouses A recent New York Times article: The Lark-Owl Scale: When Couples’ Sleep Patterns Diverge, talks about each person’s innate sleep pattern, called a “sleep chronotype, an internal timing profile” and that trying to alter it to spend more time with your partner may cause difficulties in daily living. The article goes…
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Give Way or Have it Your Way?
Give Way or Have it Your Way? What does Give Way mean in a relationship context? Active vs. Passive Yielding I’m thinking this morning of active yielding vs. passive yielding. Passive giving way may be a path of not dealing with an issue. Active giving way can be a healthy choice for a marriage. Some…
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Gratitude, Repairing and Avoiding Affairs
Gratitude, Repairing and Avoiding Affairs I’m reading a novel called Hurricane Sisters, and the very successful husband has been caught having an affair, and is knocked back by the stupidity of his actions and wants to made amends and repair his marriage. Thanks He asks a longtime associate how he’s kept his long marriage: “It’s…
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Marriage Interview 7: He Works 24 Hours a Day
Marriage Interview 7: He Works 24 Hours a Day Lui and Leon met at work in 2004 and began dating a month later. They married three months after that, and have been married for 10 years. Lonely Lui says that Leon works 24 hours a day, and she is lonely. I’m not sure how many…
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Marriage Interview 6: Blind to Clutter
Marriage Interview 6: Blind to Clutter Mandy and Sam met in college in 1988 and began dating a year later. They waited 15 years before getting married, and now have been married for 13 years. Clutter One of their biggest problems is that Sam is “clutter-blind.” I know a lot of you have the same…
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Follow-up to a Love Script
Follow-up to a Love Script Earlier I posted A Love Script, A Dyadic Encounter: Arthur Aron’s 36 questions to answer with another person in order to fall in love. On my February vacation, I asked my husband if he would be willing to go through the questions with me, both to write about here, and…
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Dual Full-time+ Workers, Kids
Dual Full-time+ Workers, Kids When you both work long hours, travel, are under pressure, do email at night, care for kids, is it any wonder that you are exhausted and don’t know how to find balance, let alone find a moment to breathe? I see so many couples in this circumstance. They are unhappy, and…
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Couple’s Strife: 3 Tools for a Happier Relationship
What Is the Biggest Cause of Strife in a Relationship? This is the question that both men and women have been asking me recently. The topic is big enough to warrant a book, yet I will tackle it in short form. My hope is that this will give you several things to think about as…
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Premarital Conversations
Premarital Conversations You’re in love, wearing rose-colored glasses, ready to marry, busy with wedding planning. It’s an exciting time. Relish being engaged, it’s a special phase that you won’t have again. I’ve noticed from my work with premarital couples that there may be topics that you haven’t discussed yet, and it’s a good idea to…