Before you send your kids to therapy, consider coming to couples counseling first. How come? The time, energy, and money you spend will go directly to your well-being and happiness as individuals, a couple, and as a family. Often, issues with kids end up getting sorted out as you become a stronger couple and have a more fulfilling and enriched marriage.
If you do send your kids to counseling, be prepared to go to counseling as a couple separately from your children. While kids might not always behave well, the kid’s therapist can not “fix” your child — and in fact, fixing a person is never the goal of therapy.
We look at families as systems: think of a mobile, seeking stasis. There is some movement as air blows by (small upsets in a family). When a crisis occurs, or a big change in the family, the mobile goes awry for a while; yet still seeks stasis. All family members are affected.
When couples are in tune with each other (listen and give empathy even when you don’t agree; have each others’ back; seek comfort and sex from one another; create a home that is a haven), then children are happier, too.
There are many wonderful therapists for kids if you choose that route. If you want to go back to being a couple from being good partners or co-parents, get in touch with us. We’re here for you.