Marriage Interview 4: Flagging Interest in Sex
How They Met
Thomas met his wife, MaryAnn, at a dinner party.
They started dating a month later, and were married within the year. They’ve now been married over 50 years.
When You Know
In VoiceMale, Chethik’s survey shows that a man who knows within a month that he wants to marry a woman, generally has a lasting marriages, while a man who take months or years to decide, does not.
Flagging Interest in Sex; Love Remains Constant
Thomas says that one of the biggest problems they have had is that as he has aged, his interest in sex has flagged, while his love remains. This is upsetting to MaryAnn. Thomas states that hormones are the cause of this change for him.
Checkup, Communication, Consideration
As a couple’s therapist, I would have recommended a thorough checkup for Thomas with his MD, and ensure that they have an open line of communication about their sex life. There are many ways for a man (or woman) to sexually satisfy one’s beloved with or without intercourse.
I also would have worked with them to determine if there were other reasons that their sex life was flagging. It is normal for couple’s sex lives to go through changes and even be problematic at times. Many couples find it very difficult or embarrassing to discuss their love life in the light of day.
Keep Snuggling and Schedule Sex
I hope Thomas and MaryAnn snuggle and give to one another in each others’ Love Language. Couples can schedule sex once or twice a week. That way they keep the sexual connection even when it is not driven by lust.
Thomas’s Tip for Couples:
Cool it if you want to keep it.
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