Connect2 Marriage Counseling

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  • “That Sort of Jab Fell Under the Category of Unnecessary Roughness”

    -Claire Cain This line jumped out at me from Cain’s novel. I’m not talking about football. Maybe you know what I mean because you are the recipient of those jabs. Or maybe you’re the one jabbing, and either you know what you’re doing, and keep choosing to jab your partner, or you’re oblivious to your…

  • “No, it just explains it.”

    “I probably saved you from being seriously injured.”Did he expect her to thank him for that? “So you think that excuses your behavior?”“No, it just explains it.” I read this in a Coatney novel recently, and it struck a nerve. Even without the context of the whole interaction, it’s clear she was nonplussed with his…

  • What Do You Get Out of Being Stubborn?

    Oxford Languages defines stubborn thus: “having or showing dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so.” We are seeing stubbornness on a global scale, to the detriment of all. Yet this column is about couples, so I’ll narrow my focus to…

  • How Did You See Your Parents Treat One Another?

    If you want to know how your partner will treat you under stress, watch how his/her parents treat each other. So, why am I asking you this question? Because what you see growing up is set indelibly in your brain; they’re called neural pathways. And because people behave based on their pathways, even if they…

  • How Much Time do You Spend Outdoors?

    I’ve been spending a lot more time outdoors, walking, exploring and going on adventures. I’ve noticed I feel better physically and emotionally since increasing my outdoor time and getting more exercise. There are a few basic things we can all do to improve our mood, our health, and in the end, our productivity. Often people…

  • Lost Your Mojo?

    What do you do when you’ve lost your Mojo? Readers, you may not know it, but aside from writing this column for you, I went through a dry spell in my writing for three years! Yikes. It was really painful for me. I started writing a journal when I was nine or ten years old.…

  • “To get the full value of joy . . .

    . . . you must have someone to divide it with.” – Mark Twain Who do you divide joy with? Today has been a rich day, dividing joy with my husband and two of my oldest friends (50 years friends). {IMG 6116.jpg} I saw the Hole in the Head at Bodega Head. I smelled fresh…

  • Don’t Wait Till Your Child is 42 to Say “I’m Proud of You.”

    I was looking through old journals just now. Some of it was painful to remember, some was joyful. One item I came across was a card from my mother congratulating me on graduating college in preparation to go to grad school to become a therapist. (I left college and eventually went to work in high-tech,…

  • Omnipresent Grief

    “If it’s true that we generally don’t know how to grieve personal losses with others in community, then we have no context for grieving communal losses–those that are omnipresent.” Photo by Click @MorgueFile Grief is usually associated with a loss due to death. There are other losses we grieve: loss of a marriage, relationship or…

  • Mom Said a Lot

    I’m going to share a piece I wrote in my mid-20s. You will see intergenerational wounds, and part of what I have had to work through in my own life. My husband tells me how amazing it is that I’m “so intact and emotionally available given what I came from”.  You’ll likely a recognize a…