Three Top Tips for a Tip Top Couple

1. Be a couple first and parents a close second.

A husband once told me that his wife had gone from being a babe to having a babe. Keep your couple identity alive and well. Have a date night once a week and don’t talk about your kids or work. Consider a babysitting swap with another couple. If you don’t know what to talk about, get a book that has talk topics for couples.

2. Go to bed early together a few times a week.

This is an opportunity to connect. You need the rest, and who knows what might happen. Don’t let devices or screen-time come between you. Keep devices out of your bedroom (that means TV, too). Bed is for sleep and sex.

3. If it’s bothering you, tend to it now.

Wouldn’t you take your car in if it was making noise? Research indicates that most couples wait six years before seeking counseling. As with a good mechanic, know who to call when you need help. In the meanwhile, ask yourself what your part in it is and what you can do (vs. what your partner can do) to make things better.

I realize that these are simple and powerful tips; and yet it isn’t easy to change your schedule and habits. While many parents look at me, as if to say, “You’re kidding, right?” many couples look at me, and say, “Thanks.”