Connect2 Marriage Counseling

Mindblown: a blog about philosophy.

  • Couples Counseling, Al Pacino Style

    I had the pleasure of listening to Pete Pearson of the Couple’s Institute in Menlo Park talk about the importance of working as a team in couple’s counseling. He showed the following video clip of Al Pacino giving an inspirational talk to his football team before a big game, and asked us to think about how it…

  • Get Real

    “Be grateful for every scar life inflicts on you. Where we’re unhurt is where we are false. Where we’re ==I wounded and healed== [my italics] is where our real self gets to show itself. That’s where you get to show who you are,” wrote Sara Gran, in her New Orleans mystery ==I Claire DeWitt and…

  • Helping Partners Become Couples (vs. Helping Couples Become Partners)

    I was recently told that my tag line, Helping Partners Become Couples, is backwards and should be Helping Couples Become Partners. In my experience with many, many couples, they are generally good partners already. They are “good enough” co-parents, manage their careers, household, social life, finances, vacations, and other responsibilities together pretty well. Yet they are…

  • Three Top Tips for a Tip Top Couple

    Three Top Tips for a Tip Top Couple 1. Be a couple first and parents a close second. A husband once told me that his wife had gone from being a babe to having a babe. Keep your couple identity alive and well. Have a date night once a week and don’t talk about your…

  • “I Don’t Want to Say This to My Partner . . .”

    I hear this phrase from clients on a regular basis. You don’t want to say the hard things out loud. There are a number of reasons for this: I can’t not know it myself once I say it to him/her. I am afraid of hurting him/her. I feel like a bad person for feeling/thinking this. I’m…

  • Premarital and Couples: The “Right” Way to Eat an Artichoke

    At dinner recently, my husband and I were eating artichokes and having a spirited conversation, as we often do. I looked over at one point and noticed he was eating his artichoke leaves the WRONG way — he was holding the leaf with the meaty side up. I eat them with the meaty side down.…

  • In Honor of Ralph

    It was my privilege to present at The Compassionate Friends National Conference: “Thriving as a Couple After Your Child Dies.” I’ll share with you a bit about the session I had with bereaved parents. Thank you to the couple S. and D. (to preserve their confidentiality) who bravely volunteered as the couple to practice the…

  • Premarital and Couples: Permanent Record

    We had dinner with our friends recently and learned that their son kept a “Permanent Record” of things his parents had done wrong during his childhood (e.g., they never had a dog). While it was funny, and piece of their family fabric and storytelling, the sad truth is that many of you keep a Permanent…

  • “You Gotta Have Balls [to do counseling] . . .

    . . . It’s really scary, taking a look at yourself.” A man said this to me yesterday while asking for my help. It is scary, it does take balls (or the female equivalent), it is hard work, it is exhausting, it does mean facing the parts of yourself that you wish would just go…

  • Check Your Best Self at the Door

    When you embark on your day, many of you either consciously or by habit, get focused on what lies ahead.  You think about what you need to do and how you will navigate your day by bringing your best Self to the table. I’d like to propose an experiment in which you do that When You Get…

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