Connect2 Marriage Counseling

Category: Marriage Counseling

  • Devices are Definitely Not Sexy

    They may look sexy, but they are a turn-off to your partner. S/he looks over to give you a “Hey, how about it?” look, and you miss it completely because you’re looking at . . . your device. I am told by men and women on a daily basis that they feel ignored/unseen/unheard because their…

  • Here Come the Holidays: Get Couple-Ready

    While this may be a time of family, love, thanks, giving, cheer, good food, and relaxing around the fireplace with good friends, it also may be a time of stress, high and/or differing expectations, extra activities, shopping, family drama, disappointment, and mixed signals. This would be an especially good time to get on the same…

  • A World Series Example: Be Explicit

    Game one, second inning; St. Louis’s Wainwright pitching, high pop up. Looks like he signals that he’ll catch it. Catcher Molina comes running up, but defers to Wainwright’s “signal.” They are standing a few feet apart. Either one could easily catch it. The ball falls to the ground between them. Thud. Runner goes to first.…

  • Go Ahead, Have a Fight

    Many disagreements come about because we don’t understand our partner’s intention, and s/he does not anticipate the impact that action or behavior will have on me. We have to remember that s/he did not grow up in our family, and s/he is not going to act “right” [meaning the way we expect or want] at…

  • In-laws to Love, or In-Laws from Hell?

    I fell in love today. It was not with my husband (this time). It was with a Macintosh computer. It happened once before; I can barely remember the year – it was a Mac Plus, there were hardly any apps for it. I spent hours with it in my attic apartment on Kipling Street in…

  • Love Means Having Someone to Lose: Engineers Not Exempt

    Formula 1 race driver and World champion Niki Lauda reminds me of a lot of Silicon Valley engineers I’ve met. I saw the movie ‘Rush’ a few days ago with my teenage son, and I was struck by Lauda’s brilliance, calculated risk-taking, and execution (I promise I won’t spoil the plot for you). Lauda initially…

  • From Crazy in Love to Love of My Life

    When we were courting (yes, I know that’s an old fashioned word), we were on our best behavior without any effort. We were trying to win over our beloved. S/he was the most amazing person we’d ever met. So beautiful/handsome. So sexy. Our hearts beat faster just thinking about each other. We couldn’t wait for…

  • Couples Therapy: Professional Opinion of “Hope Springs”

    I realize that Tommy Lee Jones has been in a lot of movies. I see many movies with my teenage son, and so when I saw Meryl Streep with Tommy Lee Jones, all I could think of right off the bat was, ‘Agent K.’ I think many people wish they had a neuralyzer to use…

  • Premarital and Couples: Do you Fight, Flight, or Freeze?

    When you are triggered or flooded — i.e., upset or overwhelmed — do you fight, take flight, or freeze? These are the biologically wired-in options for humans. This has made us survive as a species. You need this tool; it also gets in your way in your relationship at times. I often see couples where…

  • Premarital and Couples: Guilt

    Guilt is a feeling of regret or remorse for something you have done wrong or badly, or when you have hurt someone. In contrast, shame is “I am bad, or I am not worthy.” Guilt, as with all of your feelings, lets you know there is something to which you need to attend. Feelings are like road signs:…