Connect2 Marriage Counseling

Category: Marriage Counseling

  • How to Sleep Alone (while in a relationship) — or not!

    While it is both impractical and unethical to have a side business selling double beds, it is also very tempting. I see a smaller bed as a tool for you to improve your relationship. Here are snippets from couples about big beds: I am lonely. We are disengaged. My cat/dog sleeps between us. Our child(ren) sleep…

  • Are you Kinder to Strangers than to Your Partner?

    Is there a grain of truth to the statement “I am kinder to a stranger than I am to my partner/spouse?” If so, consider these questions: How did I get here? How long has this been true? Is this new for me, or a repeating pattern? How did I treat my partner before? What’s my…

  • Are Female Orgasms the Key to Inner Hunger in Women?

    While watching a video about gratitude on TED, I stumbled across a video of Nicole Daedone’s talk about the inner “hunger” in women; truly a cry for connection beyond shopping, errands, mothering, career, etc. Nicole has a book out and a center for sexuality that she truly believes will change the world; a woman’s self…

  • Premarital and Couples: Here Be Dragons!

    I wrote about the The Four Stages of Competency, that begins with the Unconscious Incompetent, perhaps also known as our unconscious. Jung referred to it as our “shadow” side — the parts of ourselves we don’t know about, and frankly don’t want to face. When I wrote the back cover copy for my Connect2 Personality…

  • “Who we are . . . depends in part . . . on who we love.”

    One of my favorite books is “A General Theory of Love.” Lewis, Amini and Lannon write poetically about love research, and they talk about limbic resonance, limbic regulation and limbic revision. The limbic part of the brain is the emotional brain. The gist of it is this: when in proximity to one another we exchange…

  • Are We the Only Couple Having Problems?

    No, you are not. Despite how other couples look to you, you are definitely not the only one having problems. In the same way that you don’t want anyone to know your relationship is in trouble, other couples are doing the same. A few years ago I helped present a two-Saturday couples workshop with Kathryn…

  • Premarital and Couples: Thankful / Grateful / Appreciation

    Those of you who are my clients already know that I encourage you to be thankful and appreciative, even for the small things that you expect your partner to do, and to say “Thank you” often and specifically. For example., “Thank you for doing the dishes,” or “Thank you for bringing me coffee in bed,”…

  • Helping Partners Become Couples (vs. Helping Couples Become Partners)

    I was recently told that my tag line, Helping Partners Become Couples, is backwards and should be Helping Couples Become Partners. In my experience with many, many couples, they are generally good partners already. They are “good enough” co-parents, manage their careers, household, social life, finances, vacations, and other responsibilities together pretty well. Yet they are…

  • Premarital and Couples: Permanent Record

    We had dinner with our friends recently and learned that their son kept a “Permanent Record” of things his parents had done wrong during his childhood (e.g., they never had a dog). While it was funny, and piece of their family fabric and storytelling, the sad truth is that many of you keep a Permanent…

  • Check Your Best Self at the Door

    When you embark on your day, many of you either consciously or by habit, get focused on what lies ahead.  You think about what you need to do and how you will navigate your day by bringing your best Self to the table. I’d like to propose an experiment in which you do that When You Get…