Category: Money
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“A happy marriage is . . .
. . . a long conversation which always seems too short.” Andre Maurois I love this quote for a few reasons. First, let’s look at a couple of definitions: “The noun conversation comes from the Old French word of the same spelling, meaning “manner of conducting oneself in the world.” When you have a conversation…
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Engagement Rings: Myths and Options
Congratulations on your engagement. (To be well set up for a life of marital happiness, and to learn how to deal as a couple with the curveballs life will inevitably throw your way, seek premarital counseling. This link is a list of things to talk about before you get married. You want to know how each…
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Marriage Interview 14: They Almost Didn’t Meet
Marriage Interview 14: They Almost Didn’t Meet November 22, 1963. President John F. Kennedy was shot and killed. The nation was in shock. People were crying. Neither Robert nor Deborah knew this date would lead to their marriage. Set up by friends of theirs, Robert and Deborah were to go on a double blind date…
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One Type of Difficulty in Marriage
One Type of Difficulty in Marriage I read the following description of a troubled marriage in Barefoot to Avalon, by David Payne. The book is an intimate look into family systems, pain, joy, dysfunction under the surface (think iceberg), and ultimately about love. There are many ways a marriage can be troubled, and this is…
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Afraid of Hurting My Partner’s Feelings
Afraid of Hurting Your Partner’s Feelings Do you avoid talking about certain topics because you are afraid of hurting your partner’s feelings? Many couples do. The proverbial pile under the rug gets so big that it’s a circuitous route around it. Unfortunately there are consequences well beyond hurt feelings when you leave things unaddressed in…
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Choose Your Beloved Daily
Choose Your Beloved Daily A colleague sent me an article about a man who chose his partner less and less each day for five years. They were both miserable in their “immature love.” As I’ve written in many of my columns, you need to choose your partner every day. And when you find yourself choosing…
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Accept Life Unquestioningly
“Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, then to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and…
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Marriage Interview 8: “Spit Out All the Hairballs”
Denise and Dominic met 28 years ago and have been married 27 years. A mutual friend introduced them once they were both over their divorces from marriages they made at age 20. A lovely brunch and hike ensued, and they have been a couple ever since. The early days of their relationship were long-distance, and…
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Premarital Conversations
Premarital Conversations You’re in love, wearing rose-colored glasses, ready to marry, busy with wedding planning. It’s an exciting time. Relish being engaged, it’s a special phase that you won’t have again. I’ve noticed from my work with premarital couples that there may be topics that you haven’t discussed yet, and it’s a good idea to…
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Anger: Use It Wisely
Why Anger Is Important I am for anger. It’s a useful feeling that lets us know a boundary has been crossed. Anger lets us know we need to do something about that. It’s what and how we do it, and in what volume and circumstance that we express our anger, that can make anger constructive…