Category: Tools and Tips
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Stuff It or Talk About It?
Stuff It or Talk About It? I finished reading Hurricane Sisters, and the husband came home begging for forgiveness. The couple spent the whole night talking, and then agreed never to talk about his affair again, and she would take him back. Hollywood vs. Regular Lives This is the work of novels and Hollywood.…
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Gratitude, Repairing and Avoiding Affairs
Gratitude, Repairing and Avoiding Affairs I’m reading a novel called Hurricane Sisters, and the very successful husband has been caught having an affair, and is knocked back by the stupidity of his actions and wants to made amends and repair his marriage. Thanks He asks a longtime associate how he’s kept his long marriage: “It’s…
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Marriage Interview 6: Blind to Clutter
Marriage Interview 6: Blind to Clutter Mandy and Sam met in college in 1988 and began dating a year later. They waited 15 years before getting married, and now have been married for 13 years. Clutter One of their biggest problems is that Sam is “clutter-blind.” I know a lot of you have the same…
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Couple’s Strife: 3 Tools for a Happier Relationship
What Is the Biggest Cause of Strife in a Relationship? This is the question that both men and women have been asking me recently. The topic is big enough to warrant a book, yet I will tackle it in short form. My hope is that this will give you several things to think about as…
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7 Do’s and Don’ts For Staying Connected as a Couple During Grief
7 Do’s and Don’ts For Staying Connected as a Couple During Grief My heart goes out to the families and friends of the young people who have died in our community lately. It is shocking and saddening beyond words. Give Comfort; Don’t Fix I specialize in working with couples that have lost a child. This…
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Marriage Interview 1: Keep a Sense of Humor
Marriage Interview 1: Keep a Sense of Humor I am working on a series of marriage interviews to share with you. They are anonymous so that these generous people will share a bit of their personal lives with us. If you’d like to be interviewed, email me (canderson@connect2.us.com), and I’ll be in touch. Here’s the…
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Anger: Use It Wisely
Why Anger Is Important I am for anger. It’s a useful feeling that lets us know a boundary has been crossed. Anger lets us know we need to do something about that. It’s what and how we do it, and in what volume and circumstance that we express our anger, that can make anger constructive…
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It’s Easier to Love Someone When You Make Them Happy
“It’s Easier to Love Someone When You Make Them Happy.” I saw this quote in a book I’m reading, and it struck a chord in me. It made me think of all of you. It is easier to love someone when you can see, hear, and feel that you are making them happy. Let me…
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Fine, Good, Okay
Fine, Good, Okay Do you answer fine, good, or okay when asked how you are? How are you? “Fine.” How are you? “Good.” How are you? “Okay.” Do you have any idea how your beloved is when you get one of these replies? Personal Weather Report When I ask couples to check in with each…
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Are You Communicating More or Less?
Are You Communicating More or Less? Isn’t it true that everywhere we go these days people are talking, texting, scrolling and swiping on devices? I find myself wondering if we had this much to say before we had these devices? I don’t recall being on our landlines telephones constantly . . . And yet, is…