Marriage Interview 1: Keep a Sense of Humor
I am working on a series of marriage interviews to share with you. They are anonymous so that these generous people will share a bit of their personal lives with us.
If you’d like to be interviewed, email me (email@example.com), and I’ll be in touch.
Here’s the first interview:
Nancy and Peter
Nancy has been married 15 years, and had two previous marriages of 10+ years.
She met her husband, Peter, 20 years ago at a New Year’s party. Her dear friends were neighbors of his, and she went along with them to the party, where she met her future husband.
They began dating eight months later, and married about four years after that.
One of Nancy’s biggest problems with the marriage was deciding whether to marry. She was reluctant since she would have to give up the house she owned and move across the Bay, away from her community, colleagues and friends. Peter agreed to re-do the inside of his house to suit her. So she decided to marry him.
Husbands: Don’t Fix It, Listen
As I’ve written here often, women don’t want their husband to fix things; women want their husband to listen and be a good sounding board.
Nancy and Peter ran into this very issue. One time Peter got frustrated because he couldn’t help her solve a problem and so he told her, “We can’t talk about this anymore.” Nancy was in a rage then.
After 24 hours, Peter came back, and said he had realized that he’d over-reacted, and they could talk about it. He was able then to listen without trying to fix it. She also realized that maybe she would not burden him quite so much with her issues.
Nancy’s Tips for Couples
1. Keep a sense of humor
2. Don’t fight when you’re angry; calm down first
3. Marry somebody mature
4. Have lots in common; do a lot together