Category: Uncategorized

Readers, you’ve often heard me asking, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Many people get caught up in wanting to be right, or in wanting things to be fair. From what I’ve observed over 18 years of working with clients, those paths do not lead to happiness. They…

Check out Lili Sohn’s new graphic medicine book. “Half of all people have vaginas. But how much do we know about that part of our body? And why are we too shy to talk about it?” Why Graphic Medicine? “The combined language of words and pictures that is the comic medium gives approachability and emotional…

I’m writing to you from Ashland, Oregon, famous for their Shakespeare Festival. I notice how much slower the pace is here than in Silicon Valley. I observe drivers being kind to one another. I awoke to see the sunrise, and watched the sunset. What happened in between? I wrote and wrote, reflecting on my life,…

I initially posted this in 2014, and readers found it helpful, so I’m sharing it with you again. I have been pregnant seven times. I wanted two children. I have a wonderful son who will be 18 this year. [He’ll be 26 this year!] My last miscarriage was two weeks before I turned 40 (which…

The answer actually is: it depends. If you and your partner have discussed it and agreed that watching porn is okay, then watching porn is not cheating—with caveats. If you both agree with a good heart, and not because one of you is worried about rocking the boat or losing the relationship if you don’t…

The start of a new year, with Covid still on the rampage resulting in continued extra home time, seems a good time to figure out how to handle chores, not be resentful, and generally to prevent fights about who does what. Here’s what I recommend. Create a list of all the chores that exist; everything…

Here are a few reasons it’s challenging to work at home with your significant other at home: Your partner is busy with work 8-10 hours a day, even though s/he’s at home. You may expect to see and interact with your beloved during that time because your “home time” was structured that way before the…

Editor’s Note: I originally posted this in 2013. Due to the 73,000 people who have read it, I think it’s worth sharing again, especially after over 5.34 million people have died worldwide from Covid. All the hubaloo around Christmas and New Year celebrations can be so painful or irrelevant when you’re grieving the death of…

Shall you marry someone you can’t live without? Yes, and yet it’s a hairy topic. What I mean by that is if you are in a healthy secure relationship, definitely marry the person you can’t live without. Where it gets hairy is if you are in an unhealthy, insecure relationship, and think/feel/believe you can’t live…

If you’ve been reading CouplesNet for long, you’ve read about Attachment Theory. Levine and Heller have focused Attachment Theory specifically to help you find–and keep–love. I recommend you read it. There are four parts to ==I Attached.==: Your Relationship Toolkit—Deciphering Attachment Styles The Three Attachment Styles in Everyday Life When Attachment Styles Clash The Secure…